i feel peculiar

on the one hand
i feel kinda detached
from everything

on the other hand
i feel strangely good

on the other hand
i feel like i should be worried about running out of time

i'm not actually worried about running out of time
i just think that it would make good logical sense to be worried about that

i worry about metaphor

sometimes
sometimes i can't feel you at all
and
sometimes
i feel you quite intensely
even sometimes
when
i haven't written anything, or whatever
so you must just be thinking about me

and
right now
the cards
are not giving me anything i can interpret

like this, for example

http://www.greenwood-tarot.com/tarot2/gwheel.php?numbers=26:60:35:13:63:36:40:21:43&deck=gt/&maxNumber=8&name=Optional&question=Optional&date=no&backg=&reading=

when i ask:
what is he thinking about us and our future

it looks all good
except for that boredom and mourning stuff
that looks kinda scary

and
it's always like that


i love you