in progress (still working, but)

i think
most of the baby dreams i've had
have centered around pregnancy
and i admit
i seem to have some sort of fetish
around the idea of fertilization
and all that seed of the womb stuff
which i always found somewhat yucky before
you bring it out in me, apparently
there's that other thing
i was never really into that before, either
it was more of a by request only kind of thing
until i had a dream about doing it to you
and suddenly
it seemed
appealing
maybe with honey from brazil

but when i woke up this morning
it seemed like you'd been in my head
it seemed like you were telling me you loved me
and that isn't the first time i've felt that happen
but it was different somehow
less like you were trying to make me listen
less like you were desperately shaking me
less like you were hugging me tight whispering in my ear: no, stay
more like something else...something...something i still can't quite describe

and the baby
he was already born
i was holding him in my arms
and, i've held babies, i'm not one of those people
who thinks they're gonna break the kid or thinks it's gonna go all bio hazard
but time was speeding up and slowing down in rapid succession
and i was worried i'd shake him unwittingly
gotta protect his precious little brain
and he strained in my arms
like he wanted to fly
and i looked in his eyes
really looked
and he wasn't just somebody's cute kid
he was made of me
and like yeah yeah, whatever, that's why people have kids
but it wasn't like that
it was intense
this kid was intense
and, to be honest, kind of frightening