It looks like the weather is over

no flooding

?nap? time

💋

The wind has been howling

It's been raining off and on

Store made landfall a couple hours ago

Near some place called Sargent

I swear to God in Texas

There are so many towns that I've never heard of

Sergeant isn't too far from palacios

I think it's about halfway between palacios and Freeport

That's what it looked like on the map

So I've been having liquid

I had some kind of exciting sounding tea that's called chaguar

Or something like that

It's made with chaga and some kind of leaf

It's Siberian

It tastes okay

But I was kind of hoping that it would be more tasting like chaga and I could add it to my root blend

Anyway whatever I kind of want coffee and cinnamon rolls

Then I had smoothie

The first one

I have this box of baby kale leaves

And I thought I would test out this thing I'm always hearing oh you can mix greens into your smoothie and you don't even taste it but I think they use spinach which has a lot less flavor

No I am not a fan of kale generally but that's more of a texture thing

If you cook the kale for a long long time then it just kind of takes on a mustard green collard green kind of vibe but I'm just not sure that it's super healthy like maybe you're cooking out all the goodness if you're cooking it that long you know and since I actively like collard greens and I'm kind of meh about kale

It just doesn't seem worthwhile to bother with the kale cuz it's not like Kayla's really healthier

But I discovered that I like the baby kale because it doesn't have that really hard texture and it's got a little more flavor than you know lettuce so it's nice to mix in so from the imperfect I got a head of romaine and a red cabbage and a box of baby kale and I was going to make salads but I thought I would try it out in the smoothie

So I jammed a bunch of kale in there and through a few pieces of frozen peach but not very many right like not as much as a whole peach and a big scoop of coconut yogurt

And the coconut yogurt it tastes good but it doesn't taste like yogurt but this coconut yogurt is really thick and it's really creamy and again it doesn't taste like yogurt I don't like it for yogurt but it would maybe work for cream cheese schmeer

I would say sour cream but again it's not very tart

So it's good but just not in that context so I'm trying to find a context for it

And I thought well you know smoothie it'll be good in the smoothie right so along with the kale and the not enough peach I put a scoop of coconut yogurt and some water and blend it all up

And it was as a smoothie

Pretty vile

But I think it's going to be the basis for a new salad dressing because it was very similar to like a green goddess dressing it just made me needed a couple of more ingredients right

And I like green goddess dressing I mean it's you know I prefer kind of a well and vinegar type action

But I mean this could be a really good salad dressing that you just mix up and pour on your salad right That's not full of oil

But really gross as a smoothie

I mean you wouldn't want to be drinking a big glass of salad dressing

But I drank it cuz I wasn't going to dump it down the sink and I was pondering what it needed as a salad dressing and whatever I don't know I probably should have just saved it to use as a salad dressing but I drink it

And then I got a little hungry later and I decided I was going to make a tasty smoothie

So I pretty much filled it up with frozen peaches and then I stuck a banana in there and threw a little orange juice and some water

And I wasn't sure the bananas were a good idea but they just looked very appealing to me I haven't had a banana for a long time

Haha appealing sorry that was not intended

Anyway so I had the smoothie and I don't know I got kind of light-headed like there was too much sugar in it or something except that I don't normally have that issue right so I don't know if it was simultaneously you know the storm moving in and giving me a headache or what but now I'm not so sure about the bananas that might just be too much sugar

Although I mean I had coffee and cookies the other day and that didn't cause me any problem

So I don't know

I might go see if any of my avocados are ripe but I bet they're not avocados just never want to ripen for me in fact although I love avocados and would normally eat an avocado every single day

I've had a lot of problems with avocados that are not ripe and not ripe and not ripe and then rotten

It's like the pears

I think it's got to do with all the chemicals that they spray on things to keep them from ripening and then get them to ripen and whatever I think it makes them confused I think it'd be better if they were allowed to just ripen naturally but then I guess you got to be closer to the food

Avocados grow in California and Florida and Mexico and they probably grow in the valley here but they don't grow in Houston it's too humid I mean the plants will grow but they don't make fruit

Anyway

When I said there wasn't any aspect of my life that I felt like I'd got I wasn't trying to be difficult or offensive

So if I came across that way I'm sorry

I love you very much sweetheart 💋

76 mile an hour wind gusts been recorded in Palacios

So probably going to be upgraded to a category 1 hurricane

They've downgraded the amount of rain they think we're going to get

I don't know what they're basing that on

But now they're thinking it's going to be more like 5 in than 10 in so who can say

I slept for a while

But I didn't remember to tell you

But I had this remarkable dream

I'm not sure maybe once before in my life I've had a dream like this but I'm not even sure about that

So it was the end of semester

But I was on top of it

For my English class I just had a paper and I was going through the book that I was going to use and Mark an off all the quotes pages

And

The other classes I was studying I had a schedule

I had food prepped so I could just take it out of the refrigerator and read it I didn't have to spend any time cooking

I was completely convinced

Then I had everything under control

And to tell you the truth

When I was actually in college

I had a system where I felt like I pretty much had everything under control and I got good grades you know I mean it's a stress dream it doesn't reflect my actual experience

So I don't know

Is my subconscious trying to tell me I've got this

Because I don't really feel like there's any aspect of my life right now that I've really you know got

I'm not super worried

But at the same time I am kind of super worried

So I don't know maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me that the vitamin d is going to fix all my problems

I don't know I'm just super impressed by that dream

Actually maybe I feel super prepared for storm I don't know

I don't have a sense that this is going to be as bad a flooding as Harvey but I don't know

But as long as it doesn't get in the house I think I'm prepared for everything short of that

And there isn't any way to really prepare for having water in your house

I need to check the weather again but it wasn't even a hurricane as of the last time I checked but of course here the hurricane isn't the problem it's the rain so I mean Harvey was a hurricane but the hurricane didn't hit us it was the tropical storm f***** us up

Allison wasn't a hurricane at all it was a tropical storm that just stalled over us for a long period of time

Anyway I'm off to listen to the weather

I'm having like this weird sensation

Like I'm seeing all these things that happen in the past where I sort of thought I knew what was going on

And now I'm thinking maybe I completely didn't know what was going on

And it's making me think

Am I the same person now that I was then

Was I then who I thought I was

I have this real sense of being kind of unmored in the open waters of my unknown self

Is that weird

I'm going to ?nap?

maybe

when I was driving around

I had this sense

of us

together

I really should leave the house more

Ok I took iron

I took vitamin d

I took various other vitamins

Haven't had any coffee for 2 days

I'm drinking medicinal teas

I've slept a lot

Had to drive my car around

I had to restock on hurricane supplies

Hurricanes coming maybe here maybe not we don't know that yet but they think it's coming tomorrow night so better safe than sorry

I love you very much sweetheart

Well

I did sleep 8 hours

I thought yesterday maybe I'd have something to say about 20-year anniversary of 9/11

But I find that I don't

I hope that you're doing okay

And that you're having fun

And being safe

The feeling like you know you're having more freedom than you've had for a while

Not like

Holy crap what's going on

I hear Trump is doing commentary on some fights tonight and that seems about right

You know disrespectful

Do you think you realized it was September 11th that he was doing the fight commentary on

I mean I know w did a speech today I didn't hear it but he did a speech in Pennsylvania for the plane crash site

I gather he made some comments about

Americans needing to come together and be one group of people

And although I still haven't forgiven him

And I feel like a lot of the s*** Trump was allowed to get away with was legacy of w

I certainly am glad that he's not supporting white supremacists

I don't know

It just seems like it's all been downhill since Reagan

But then I suppose

If I was a little older

It might have been all downhill since Nixon

And probably that's not a productive game to play anyway

I can't believe how late in the year it is already

Kind of sad to remember I don't like pumpkin spice lattes anymore

It was cool to look forward to that

But they're gross

My head hurts

And there's a storm brewing in the Yucatan

And I dreamed that I had ordered a bagel delivery and then been sent some sort of a thing saying true or false I want a bagel delivery

And I wasn't very awake and so somehow I falsified my bagel delivery

And I didn't get any bagels

And I was sad

And I woke up with a song stuck in my head but it isn't a real song so I guess I wrote it in my sleep but it wasn't very good

And now I can't remember

It mostly used a word that is in a real word it was the kind of like I don't know it was sing-songy

And it was the something or other man

But it wasn't a word it was

The Prespemonitory Man

Or something like that

I slept like 12 hours yesterday

I woke up after 8:00 but I had a headache and I went back to sleep

I guess I've only been up about 9 or 10 hours at this point but I think I'm going to go back to sleep

And maybe that will mean that I won't have to sleep a long time

I don't know though I seem to be having trouble

And I don't know if that's allergies

Or depression

Or menopause

Or that I'm just lazy and worthless I don't know

I can't convince myself to do a water fast

That's too intense for me right now

So I think what I'm going to do

It's a very limited

Mostly liquid

Diet

I will include some solid foods

I'm going to do juice and broth and medicinal herb teas

Then I'm going to do some smoothies and oatmeal but not instant oatmeal I've been having a lot of instant oatmeal lately not instant like the real cook kind and salads so it was pretty limited ingredient

But I just I don't know I don't feel well

And my focus is very bad

I love you very much sweetheart

I hope you're taking good care of yourself

I worry about how safe it is out there

Please be as careful as you can

And have as much fun as you can

That's the really important thing I think

Goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋

I love you sweetheart 💋

gotta sleep fast

I love you💋

Gonna try to sleep now

💋

It is taking cats and dogs here

⛈️🍕

Goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋

Well we've got the 36

But I'm going to try and not to do 12 I'm going to try to make it more like 6 or 7

Goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋

Not having much luck with the sleeping

Well

I might take a nap

I'm not sure that 36/12 is gonna work

as like a regular thing

I love you very much sweetheart 💋

Okay 36 hours is possibly my record

So I took some melatonin and I'm going to try to go to sleep

I love you very much sweetheart 💋

Well on Sunday night I didn't get a lot of sleep

So then I slept a lot on Tuesday

And then I couldn't sleep at all on Tuesday night so I didn't get any sleep before I went to the studio Wednesday

And I thought well since I'd been up all night and I didn't get any sleep that then I would be super sleepy and I would go to sleep tonight

And there was a point when I was sitting down and I was kind of nodding off in the chair but then I got my second wind and so I'm still up so I've been up for

Like 34 35 hours maybe

I have all these images

But they don't really I mean I have to figure out a way to fit them into the story they don't really fit into the story they could fit into the story

But I'm more interested in the images than I am about trying to make them fit into the store

And the sky is falling and the world is falling apart and you were right about my thoughts regarding that one thing

And there's a book that I read years ago called Brand New Cherry flavor I may have mentioned it at some point and when I was working on my story I was thinking man I'd really like to get a little of that kind of feeling and I think I still have the book somewhere but I can't find it so maybe I don't

And I went to look on audible to see if they had it and they didn't have it when I was first thinking about it so actually maybe I was thinking about that before I even started writing my story cuz it was probably like a month ago that I looked to see if they had it maybe a little bit longer I don't know and they didn't

But then in my Twitter feed it just came up hey if you need something to watch there's this show on Netflix called brand new chair flavor and I was like you know the universe is just I mean it's answering a lot of my simple demands or simple requests or simple desires you know I mean like the things like I would like for the sky to not fall I would like for it not to be apocalypse I would like to still be living in a democracy

You know those things it doesn't seem to be doing anything about

But if I say man I'd really like to read brand new cherry flavor

Which is out of print

Then it produces a whole Netflix series

So then when I found out it was Netflix series I went and looked on audible and now they have it

And they have one on eBay that still has a couple more days to go and it's up to $83 for a trade paperback

So I mean assuming I could find it and wanted to sell it I could probably get you know roughly that amount for it

I don't really want to sell it though

But whatever the Netflix series I've watched all about the last two shows and it is not like the book in almost every particular and yet somehow is the same story

Which is tricky to do

I mean people have been making books in a movies as long as there have been movies being made which is a long time and they frequently make changes from the book to the movie

And I mean it's almost inevitable because there are so many things that a book can do that a movie can't do and so many things that a movie can do that a book can't do that I mean you really have to translate it to the medium and try to get the feeling the same but like you know if there's a lot of you know dialogue narration

When you can have a voiceover but you know that's not something that is really desirable unless you're doing a particular kind of gumshoe mystery right

And this book had a lot of things that ideally needed to be changed because it's in the era of me too now

So like in the book she's working for a movie producer and she's trying to get I think she's trying to get a director job and he keeps promising her and she's been sleeping with him for years and he just keeps promising and promising but then he never makes good on his promises and this time he said for sure and she believed him for some reason and then somebody's niece was promised something and there's no room for her

And she's kind of like you know I've been sleeping with this guy for years and he's just stringing me along right well that wouldn't fly now because the idea that she's knowingly you know sleeping with him and participating in this corrupt system that really shouldn't be that is degrading to women and probably to men as well but you know it's the women who are going to get upset about it mostly I mean they don't want to do that in an alien ate their audience from the start

Besides then it calls into question whether she really is you know any good and ready to do it and all that kind of stuff you know

And in this show she's this young woman who's just kind of hit town with this incredible short film you know that's just blowing everything up and whatever and she wants to get her film made and the guy gives her contract and she signs it and she's supposed to be directing it and then he says no I'm going to have somebody you know who's already paid their dues directed and he's not cutting her out exactly she could still be involved in the process but she hadn't got any interest in that she wants to direct her film and she feels like it's being taken away from her

So in the first book in the book she was not a sympathetic character really she was kind of an auntie hero and I kind of liked that You know that she was only maybe marginally better than the bad guys and then she goes and does all this bad s*** and then is she better than the bad guys no she's worse in the bad guys right but it was an interesting story and I liked the the darkness and the grittiness and the supernaturalness

And she doesn't believe in the supernaturalness at the beginning and she slowly comes to believe it through a series of things that happen to her

Well in this Netflix series I don't want to spoil it so I'm not going to tell you too much but she's got all this like dark baggage

Which I haven't seen the end so I don't know how it reveals but and also the magic person I'm not sure that they labeled the magic person as a brujo or a you know wizard or anything like that I don't think they specified exactly but it was a man and they're all these particular things that happen and they're all changed in the show it's a woman not a man but then it turns out well I don't want to tell you something

And some things get conflated and some things just get changed and yet somehow it still has the same flavor you know

And so as I'm watching it I'm like man I still want this I want this kind of dark and it's kind of a mystery I mean I guess you'd have to call it a mystery but there's not a detective and there are a lot of elements of horror or something

But it isn't a horror show

I really like it

But I have all these images she falls asleep or maybe not asleep but she lays her head down and it kind of melts and congeals around this hammer and then she has a hammer like embedded in her head

And there's this cylindrical maybe it's a fish tank or maybe it's some kind of a tube coming up through the floor to the ceiling that's got some sort of creature in it it's maybe like an octopus

And there's this it's like a it's more like a big brochure than an album but it has pictures of her mother on some sort of trip and on some of the pictures when you like do whatever the technological equivalent for this brochure like you put your hand over a picture or something and it becomes like a short video clip but it's still playing in the slick paper so I guess that's kind of like Harry Potter but not exactly

I just I feel very out of sorts

Kind of depressed

Disgusted

I don't have any faith in the Democrats

I want them to get their s*** together and stop the Republicans from doing what they're doing

The next time they're not going to need to have an insurrection they're just going to change the votes

If the Democrats don't get this s*** together then it's not going to matter who really wins in 2024 because it's going to be the Republican

And you know it's already too late for global warming you know we can't just take some measures and everything's going to be fine we're way past that point

Now we're at the point where if we don't take some pretty serious measures it's going to be apocalypse 24/7

So I'm sorry I'm doing a very bad job of talking to you and giving you companionship and whatnot but I'm not very good company right now

Anyway I couldn't sleep at all last night I'm hopeful that I'll be able to sleep tonight but I don't know

I love you sweetheart 💋 

⛈️🍕

I love you sweetheart

I hope you are having adventure

Sorry I'm not talky-er

I've gotta sleep a few hours now

Be safe out there

💋