she was asking me
if I knew where her oil paints were
and was telling her
they were in the totes under the black table
(in the studio)
probably in the bottom tote
because I tried to organize things
where the things that might EVER
need to be accessed
we're more accessible than the things
that I was pretty sure would NEVER
need to be accessed
and she started with this weird shit she does
oh you are so cute
which I'm pretty sure is like
WELL BLESS YOUR HEART
but then she went on with something
about little girl and whatever, ya know
since she killed her cat
she talks to me in the same tone, sometimes
and it creeps me out
so I all bust out with a Uhh Huh
AND she's like
WHY ARE YOU DISSING ME
HOW am I dissing you
You just sounded very dismissive
I just don't know how to respond to that
sometimes you say things
and they don't seem genuine
they seem like
some bullshit you think I want to hear
that doesn't actually
come from anyplace inside of you
all that factors into my response
I COULD NOT STOP MYSELF
do you know what happened?
NOTHING happened
it was like I never said it
it was just sucked into the vacuum of space
this has happened before
BUT
this seemed more dramatic
