i'm awake (and i feel considerably better today)

I am not sure I'm gonna finish the reset today
I got a lot done yesterday
but
signage (which is the main thing I have to do today)
signage takes a lot of time
if I don't finish, though
whatever
as far as I can tell
nobody else really worries about it


I dreamed I was soaking in a really warm bath
I don't know what else
that's all I remember
my kitty
he is very disturbed by the schedule changes
I'm not ideal for cats generally
do to their love for schedules and order
this one is ocd
oh, I don't think I told you
he doesn't have that disease thing
he has ocd
and he gave himself a bladder infection
because he was waiting for the two times a day
I cleaned the box
seriously
so, anyway
we've gone to four
and he only has to wait
less than the entire time I'm gone at work
silly cat


so he's been waking me up
every couple hours
he doesn't like change
but
he did sleep with me most of the day


I've been thinking
I haven't been writing to you much
and maybe I should talk about that
but
I'm not sure
how to explain it, really
I haven't felt like I could
or had any desire to write, anything


but
I want to want to write
if you know what I mean
so maybe
I should make myself
but
I haven't felt metaphor-y
and
truthfully, that might be something not right
like depression or something
I just feel
like
flat
ya know
and I know part of it is
I don't believe the way i did
and maybe I don't want to write
because it'll come out in that
and
I don't want that
but
I'm not real happy with that reason
I have a lot of worries
about my mom
about my future
I don't feel like things are going well


but
this is a drag
I feel physically and mentally
pretty good
today


and
you are doing really well creatively
which is good
and I'm happy about that


I wish I was more on that vibe
currently