random stuff

sometimes
random coincidences
seem so prescient that i think
they can't any of them mean anything
or they all do
or some of them
or none of them
or some combination

but
when you've seen something
maybe dozens of times
and suddenly
you see something

that never meant anything
and suddenly it does
but
in a way
that reminds you
of other things
that meant something
in something that was not itself without meaning
it can get pretty confusing, actually


totally unrelated to that
or
maybe, really, it isn't...hmmmm

i am so happy with my new thumb
i never realized how much i worried it
rubbing and mashing and irritating the knot

i've been trying to remember to be
specifically grateful
for each time i notice
a decrease in chronic pain
an increase in flexibility
because that's just right

but
i never realized
that the thumb was much of anything

just
now
the absence
makes me realize
it was almost continually painful
just on such a low level that it never really registered

lack of pain
makes me happy

i dreamed something i thought was interesting
but i can't remember now
i'll write more later
if i can remember

do something nice for yourself today
i'm not with you and i can't
but i'm feeling the kind of bubbling of
whatever it is
that would make me want to do something special

i'm about to see my mom
which might suck it right out of me
so i wish it for you, now