ok so i said there'd be more later, so i'm back

the touch screen maps
were part of some system
i was working with this guy
to set up some sort of fan based system

i was asking him:
what is the thing
the thing that'll take it to the next level
i was concerned that the guy we were building it for
should finally get what it was he wanted
from his life
his career
not because i wanted it
not even because i wanted to say
that i had any part of it
i wanted it for him

then
i was hanging out with the family
and the sunflower was part of the family


today
i wondered about that
and i wondered
if you read it
if you wondered
if i had something i was trying to say
and i didn't, naturally
it was a subconscious manifestation

but
i wondered:
does she represent a part of me
or
am i saying i'm too old

maybe

i could actually make either case

i also thought
because i still actually think
crazy as it may be
that some part of you was thinking of me
as an oklahoma sunflower
and i picked it up in my dream

because i really, actually think
that our minds are partially linked
that's not some metaphor
it's just
that
it's not a complete and perfect link
so only things you think very strongly
are at all clear
but
those are not the only things i pick up

anyway
maybe that isn't [any of it] right

i certainly can't tell you what you're thinking right now

my meditative attempts just now
brought up my second grade elementary school lunch room
with the mondrian prints
and some performance of a snoopy play

i had brownie meeting in that room too
after school
and school photos were taken there
actually
it wasn't just mondrian prints
there were prints from a bunch of artists
but those
are the ones i wanted to know who painted them
badly enough to go examine the print closely
piet mondrian

i didn't like girl scouts
i think i thought we'd camp
or learn wilderness skills
but it was just weaving pot holders and
making piggy banks out of bleach bottles
and selling cookies
it was total crap

we bought my clothes at sears on main st
or at woolworths

i got my ears pierced at the end of that year

is any of this something you wanted to know
i don't know why i'd think of that stuff