Okay I'm going to sleep for a little while

I love you very much sweetheart

This is a very strange year

I took the cat to the vet and I had to take an Uber because my car wouldn't start so I guess my battery is dead so that sucks I drove it around but I guess I didn't drive it around enough and I guess it's just been going too long in between driving it around so I'm going to need to take it in to get it inspected soon anyway because that's this month but I can't really do it today because I've been up all night and I'm really tired so I'm not sure the neighbor is here now and he might be able to give me a jump but I can't go driving it around now because I'm too tired and he may or may not be here tomorrow morning or the rest of the week I just don't know what he's doing but I've got AAA so I guess worst case scenario they can come out and jump it and I really don't think it comes as any great shock to me that the car wouldn't start but I am disappointed

I'm going to go to sleep now

I love you very much sweetheart

Well kitty seems okay for now

He's limping a little but I think he's okay

I'm going to sleep for a little bit

I love you sweetheart

I'm not going to my mom's studio tomorrow

She apparently still hasn't gone through her stuff

And quite frankly I wasn't sure I was up to it

Plus I really need to monitor the cat

I hydrogen peroxided his foot again

He's kind of limping around

And he is sleeping all the time

Which doesn't sound different

But it is

Anyway

I think he's okay

But I don't want to just go away and leave him alone

Just in case I have to make a vet appointment

So I was trying to tentatively reschedule for Tuesday

And she's like well how about Saturday

So I'm not really sure why she wanted it to happen Friday

If she wasn't going to be ready until a week from Friday

But that's fine whatever

I also can't imagine that I'm not going to be monitoring the news pretty heavily

I reread that last thing I wrote

And it wasn't wrong I wasn't lying

But it sounds awfully dramatic

So I'm sorry to be so worrying

Can a Puerto Rican food it's kind of weird

Spices are actually more similar to what I use than what I thought I mean sofrito is very similar to pico de gallo

I love pico de gallo

and I shouldn't say it's weird what I mean by it's weird is not only does a lot of it have meat in it but a lot of it has multiple meats

Like they had this chicken that had a stuffing that had olives in it and I thought oh that sounds good or at least different very different than anything I've ever had and I like olives so I thought I'll give that a try then when I'm looking through the ingredients list it's kind of hamburger meat in it or ground sirloin or whatever

And I'm like what the f*** is the hamburger for

So I'm reading the directions and the hamburger goes in the stuffing like you're stuffing the chicken with stuffing but instead of using bread you're using ground beef

And I'm like okay that's gross

So I'm not going to do that I'm going to use bread well dried bagged breadcrumbs

And there are a lot of recipes like that

And I guess it isn't that strange I mean a lot of times people will put and do a sausage and gumbo

But I don't actually like that either so

So I guess what I'm saying is I'm not going to be making a lot of these recipes as they're actually written

They've got another spice that they use a lot

And you can buy it at the store

But it's like dye

I could supposed to be annatto

And they walked some annatto by it

but they also used yellow dye number five and red dye number what is that 40

I've been avoiding those like the plague since the '80s

But I did find a place I can order some annatto from 

but I think it's kind of funny when I was looking up online to find things that were substitutes for this spice The main one mentioned is slap ya mama

And I have a giant thing of that because I use that all the time just as my table salt

Like I used to buy it from work and smaller containers but when I went to the grocery store what they had was a 16 oz container so now I have a 16 oz container

Because there is almost nothing I would want to put salt on that wouldn't be better with this stuff on it comes from Louisiana it's got salt red pepper black pepper and garlic

And he prefers Hungarian paprika

But I stopped buying that when I discovered Spanish smoked paprika

Because smoked is better

But whatever

Cookbooks are just inspiration right

There are a bunch of recipes that use salted cod I think it's salted cod maybe it smoked salted cod

And I was very interested in that but they do not sell that at my grocery store

There's also some kind of interesting salad recipes

Not like meal salads which is usually what I would do but more like side salads

Although one that I guess would work for meal that I am definitely going to try is a tuna salad that's made with white beans and tuna

And I'm not necessarily a big bean fan

But that sounded kind of intriguing

He says she's Goya white navy beans

And only use progresso cannelli beans in a pinch but I'm not buying Goya and I like progresso just fine generally so I think I have all the ingredients for that probably I'll have that soon

Also

I feel like I definitely need more plantains in my life I've had plantains

At restaurants

Cuban food

And I've had them as chips

I don't really eat chips that often and they're kind of thick for chips kind of extra crunchy the kind of thing you poke yourself in the gum with and then have a sore spot so they're nothing that I've really integrated into my food before

Because the way they were readily available is chips and really like not so much for flavor but for textural reasons and there aren't a lot of Cuban restaurants here

If I'm not going to have Tex-Mex food

To be honest I'd rather have Yucatan Mexican food and I don't go out that much

I'm sure there's a Puerto Rican restaurant here somewhere well I'm not actually sure of that I feel like we have more restaurants here than almost any place per capita so we probably do but I don't know where it is

And it's just not something I ever really thought about

To be honest with you I associate Puerto Rican culture very closely with New York

In my mind so I don't think it ever really occurred to me to look for Puerto Rican restaurant here

Sorry I feel like I'm babbling

wtf

 that feeling

the one like i need to run screaming

that's not getting better

i started taking iron again with b12

and i feel better

but

now

i have a headache again

i think this one is stress, though

it's a long shirt, if i was young and thin maybe you'd call it a mini dress

 i'm worried about my cat

he got into a fight earlier

and

though i had the door open with the chain on

he couldn't get in

i guess because gray cat was keeping him

from the angle he needed to get in

i opened the door and went out to yell at gray cat

i'm wearing a shirt

and

a pair of boy shorts underwear

which i guess technically covers me

but

is not what i would consider dressed

gray cat just stares at me, not worried about me at all

i'm never feeding you again, i scream

as i finally distract him enough

that kitty can get away

he is covered with mud

he is bleeding from his paw

i got him cleaned up

i got him to stand in hydrogen peroxide

so hopefully he won't get an infection

he's had all those shots

so

even if gray cat has cat disease

which i've got no reason to think he does

kitty should be ok

he ate

and then he curled up on his blanket

and passed out

for hours

usually he's on me every two hours to feed him

when i got up to pee

he had no interest

when i got up this last time

he had disappeared from the blanket

i thought maybe he was in the kitchen

he was

i gave him food

and he had no interest

he's pretty aggressive about food

so, whenever he doesn't want to eat

i'm worried that he's having an episode

i hope you are ok

i hope the cat is ok

i hope nobody saw me

i wish i didn't feel like there were going to be

spiraling out of control type things

about to be happening at the white house

i feel uncomfortable with the level of the lying

although that hasn't actually changed

i love you very much

i feel like

A)  i need to run around screaming

B)  i need donuts

i feel a little crazy

i need to go to sleep

i'm going to my mom's studio on monday

she didn't really have things unpacked

and she needed to spend the day

doing things with her stocks

so

all the stuff we were going to do friday

still needs doing

         

thoughts

 i'm not real talk-y

i'm irritated, though by all the people saying that if i don't wish him well

then i'm just as bad as he is

uhm, like no i'm not

and anyway

it would be specifically wrong

to wish him well

when i specifically asked god to help out

timing's a thing

and

she's a much better lawyer than me, obvi

but

i'm antsy

i'm like a kid on a car trip

are we there yet

is it soup yet

is he xxxx yet

 

 i'm going to bed now

i love you very much sweetheart

 ok

i have to go to bed

i really hope he didn't infect joe on tuesday

i love you very much sweetheart

 well

i don't believe  we've gotten an answer on the early voting question yet

but

new development

the governor has issued an edict

or whatever

there can only be one drop box per county

for all the counties

in all of texas

now, you can only get the absentee ballot

if you're old

or sick

or gonna be out of the country

so

let's make it harder for those people

voter suppression is what i'd call it

i hope you're doing ok

i always worry

but

the cards say

either you are fine

and had something you needed to do

or

you had a run-in with a road runner

i probably can't make it tomorrow

i'm going to my mom's new studio

to help her hang paintings and what-not

I really love coffee

It feels like fall

I don't feel very coherent

And I have a lot of congestion

But I feel good

In some sort of non-coherent not all their physically sort of way

Like I'm floating on some sort of it's all going to be okay wave

Is that true

I don't know

But I feel pretty good then I'll take my shower later

Now I'm just waiting to see what happens

I love you sweetheart

 well

i was going to go to bed earlier

but

instead i just fell asleep in the chair earlier

then

woke up and didn't go to bed

i'm not sure why i cannot do this

i love you very much sweetheart

goodnight

I'm up

Okay I'm going to bed

I still am not quite making that 1:30 bedtime

But it's getting a little earlier

I love you very much sweetheart

Goodnight

 the republicans

are in court right now

to try to reduce early voting in harris county

not the state

just the big democratic county

i cannot believe they are so so obvious

i mean

i can

but

fundamentally it still shocks me

I slept through my alarm

I'm up now

I'm going to sleep earlier

Not a lot earlier

I was going to go to bed at 1:30 but then I got busy doing something and so now it's later than that but I am going to sleep

So I should be ready

In the morning

Goodnight sweetheart

I love you very much 💋

The birds

They're running some kind of operation

I'm not sure what kind

And tree doesn't know

I've been awake for about an hour

I just been doing stuff on my phone

Sunlight is pretty

That is my observation so far for the day

I might be having another one of those cold flash things

and actually I might have had one the other day too not quite as bad as the other one but it's like 79° according to my phone

The AC is on but it's not running much cuz it said it about 74 75 something like that

I have a fan on and normally it rotates which I'm much prefer I don't really like it to be blowing on me the whole time but the rotator thing is broken so it's blowing straight at me

But I mean it's been like that all day and I am uncomfortably cold

I mean like I'm thinking oh I'm so cold I need to put on a sweater but it just can't be that cold

Anyway I got to say

I'd rather have cold slashes than hot flashes

Because I mean Jesus

There's only so hot you can get

Without passing out or something

But I got to say this is weird

I love you sweetheart

Good night