Partly because my knee hurt really bad but then mostly because I just was having kind of a depression and I felt like if I went that was going to spiral a lot of control and I just needed the day off
But she sounded really out of breath when I talked to her and I asked her how she was doing and she said she was feeling really tired she had slept 12 hours but she's felt really tired and she's been really tired but I've been really tired too and so that hasn't really registered as you know anything in particular
But the shortness of breath made me ask her if she was low on oxygen cuz she sleeps with the condenser every night
Because when she was in the hospital before and it's been about a year and a half now her oxygen would go way down when she would sleep so she's been sleeping all this time with a condenser
So she checked her oxygen and it was like 80 which is bad really really bad so I'm like go get back on the oxygen right now
So she did and it went up to like 96 or 97 pretty quickly
And I'm like I think you need to spend today not doing anything just you know chill sitting the chair put the cat stay on the oxygen
And I checked back in with her like I don't know an hour and a half 2 hours later and she said she was feeling okay but anytime that she got off the oxygen to go to the bathroom or get something to drink or whatever her oxygen levels would drop again really fast
So I'm like well you know and this is early in the day and I'm like okay well you know stay on the oxygen and she's like well you know it irritates my nose if I have the oxygen on for too long blah blah blah and I'm like well can you just hold it by your nose so that you can breathe oxygen but it's not in your nose and she's like oh yeah okay I guess I can do that
So then I check back in with her like another hour and a half 2 hours later and it was like the same story and I'm like look do you think maybe you should call the doctor
And she really didn't want to and I'm like well you know but look that can't be so I had her take her blood pressure and her blood pressure was really really low it was like well she took it like three times and one time it was like 80 over 50 one time it was 89 over 49 maybe I don't know but it was it was like not so low that it's like you need to be hospitalized immediately but like low enough that it was like there's a problem that you might need attention for and I was asking her about she took her blood pressure medication in the morning cuz she took her blood pressure and it was like 135 over something 80 maybe but I mean maybe she went back to sleep and then got up and took it again or maybe that medicine is too strong I don't know but her blood pressure was low and her oxygen levels were low and I'm like please call your doctor
So she called the doctor that gave her the oxygen and he's asleep doctor He's not a cardiologist He's not her primary care physician He's a sleep doctor but he's the one that prescribed the oxygen so okay whatever
So she calls him she doesn't get him she gets his nurse and she's like well you you probably be fine was what my mother told me first then with some more prodding apparently the nurse said you should go to urgent care and get checked and my mom's like well I can't go to urgent care because I can't take the condenser with me and if I'm off the oxygen for just a few minutes then my oxygen drops and then I'm not safe to drive and so the nurse was like well you know I guess just stay on the oxygen and sounds like you're doing the right thing and if you have any more trouble the doctors will be on call so just call this number and somebody will call you back
And I'm like well it's a doctor calling you back now and she's like no and I'm like well why not and she's like why talk to the nurse and I'm like okay but the nurse is like well I don't know I guess you're doing the right thing call back if you have any additional problem I'm like what additional problem I'm like you say that the thing that you're most afraid of is that your brain will get damaged but low oxygen is a thing that can damage your brain so you're just going to go to sleep like that and hope it all works out I'm like can you please call your regular primary care doctor and let her know what's going on with your oxygen levels and your blood pressure
So she's like yeah okay
And then she's like okay she told me to call an ambulance and go to Methodist
So then I'm texting her like every 20 minutes are you okay how are you doing You know if you call the ambulance yet
And like an hour and a half later she calls the ambulance cuz she's got a pack or purse and she's got a set stuff out for the cat and she's got to you know get things arranged and make sure she has everything but you know every couple minutes she's got to stop and get more oxygen and maybe she was thinking about not doing it I don't know but I just kept texting her like every 20 minutes asking her how she was doing so finally she went and she texted me she said the emergency room and she's patient number five and I figured well that was good she was triaged as number five she definitely wasn't you know like imminently expiring so they had taken an EKG and they took blood and they were going to take a chest x-ray and she was on oxygen and they had her in the hall and she wasn't real happy about being in the hall and I'm like it's a place full of covid and she's like no so if they had her in the hall not taking up a ICU bed then they must have thought she was stable enough not to need an ICU bed so that's good I figure but they were going to keep her overnight they weren't going to have her blood test results back for a couple hours and they hadn't done the chest x-ray yet so they were going to keep her overnight for observation
So I had a very stressful day and I feel as though I strong arm to my mother into getting medical attention and
So I guess
I guess I don't want her to die on her sleep
And I mean I think that actually dying in your sleep is kind of the goal
I mean I always kind of picture my perfect way to go as being kind of nodding off in a sunny window while I'm reading a book or something
And maybe she would have done that
And maybe I should have left well enough alone but I couldn't
Anyway
I'm pretty exhausted I'm going to bed
goodnight sweetheart I love you very much 💋
