good morning sweetheart
hope everything is well
I love you very much

i just had the most amazing dream

I've been having very complex dreams
for a while
where I wake up
kinda tired from the dreaming
but
I usually can't remember much
and I can't remember much
from this one either
but
what I do remember, wow


ok
so
I met a bunch of people
people with businesses
in decor
and wine
and music
and
I went to a music and wine festival
but it was enormous
and it had this whole
built in feature
like
it was like what pleasure island at Disney World would be
if it was super cool
instead of lame


and there was this whole
philosophical conversation
about wandering
it was like a quantum theory
for groupies
how
sometimes
you need to wander off
and listen to other bands
and just keep tabs
if your band starts to sound
like something else
it's time to go back
but
if you never give them a break
they never change and grow
they just become too much like themselves
which is not a good thing


they also had
an amazing system
where you could be listening
to other bands
but checking in on your band


and
then
this amazing social media thing
where I saw
the women decorators I met
lounging on new chaise
talking about what they learned
at the festival
and the wine lady
was talking to a friend of hers
about
if she could get the money together
to buy two titles from this winery
she would be able to make
a lot of profit from
she called it the legs
by which she meant
additional wines she could buy from them
at a big discount


I was going to check in on bands
so
I pointed this wand at myself
which was supposed to
calibrate the quantum thing
and play me music
but
it crashed the system
and I woke up


I am super hoarse
I'm coughing
and my nose is actively running
but
I feel a lot better


plus
I feel like
I just made like half a dozen
really cool friends


it was a really good dream

I have felt more normal this evening
and have stayed up semi-late
I hope everything is good with you
I'm confused
I love you
hopefully I haven't upset you somehow
I'm going to go to bed
in a few minutes
maybe you're already asleep
if not
come visit me in dreamland

well
I guess I feel better
I'm no longer chilled
back still hurts bad
but front is better
(I think)
I don't feel right
and
I don't want to go to work
I left early yesterday
but
I don't even know what this is
very weird 


I am going to work though
even though I don't want to

something you probably don't know about me
my resting body temperature
is not 98.6
I'm not sure exactly what it is
because
I never think to take it
unless I feel feverish
which I did
today
I have chills
it's 100 outside
I took my temperature
97.7
I think I have fever
I think it's normally
93 or something
you can't tell doctors that
I once tried
that basal whatever whatever method
to test when you're ovulating
I was much younger
and sleeping with a guy
who didn't keep his waterbed heated
and
I swear
when I woke up
and took my temperature
it was like 63 or something
he started mocking me about bein a corpse
and I decided
there was no need to know
exactly when I was fertile


anyway
going to bed
I love you sweetheart

I'm going to work today
but
I still feel unwell
it might just be menstrual/hormonal
idk
my main symptom today
is pretty bad pain
in a band across my abdomen
and lower back
yesterday
I had an upset stomach
headache
and
I couldn't stand without
extreme fatigue
I slept
a ton
and
to be honest
I coulda slept more
so, idk
my body is fighting me
I guess


I don't expect today to be a walk in the park
but
I love you
and
I want your day
to be fantastic!

there
hopefully that's better
although I'm still not firing on all cylinders
but
happy birthday sweetheart
I love you

ok
bad choice maybe
I stayed home sick yesterday
and pretty much slept all day
I heard that
thought it was beautiful
didn't vet it like i normally would
title
sound
not words
I love you sweetheart
I wasn't trying to be obnoxious

I dreamed
I was in prison
also
I was a man
and
it was some future
post apocalyptic prison
everything was wooden fenced in pins
exposed to the weather
and
I think
I was innocent
it was a long and complicated dream
but
I can't remember any more

I fell asleep in the chair again
I love you sweetheart

I just had a homeless guy
(I assume he is, anyway)
who came in to get a drink of water
tell me
after a very short chat
that
he gets to decide
who stays on earth
and who goes to Neptune
and
I can stay here on earth
if I want to
he says
I wanted
to ask him
like
the pros and cons of Neptune
but
I wasn't sure if that was a good idea
so
I just said
something like
oh, ok
like I was taking it under advisement
which
I kinda felt like I was


I love you sweetheart
hope you are having
a very relaxing day

i have this idea

watching the videos with the water sounds
made me remember how much i miss that sound
from back when i had fish tanks
and that made me think
about sleeping in the greenhouse
i'm not sure it makes sense
to try to
like
live in the greenhouse
as such
but
maybe sleeping in the greenhouse is a thing

i really really hope
that you aren't unhappy with me

i have things
i'd like to talk about
that i can't
and
stuff
i might not understand
but
regardless
i haven't felt you at all today
well
maybe once
and
so
ya know
whatever
i'm in the midst of what seems like a long stretch
of being paranoid
or overly sensitive
or
hormonal
whatever
but

i'm assuming
we're good
i think

and
i'm going to continue to plan
my little off grid thing
assuming that you will
not take it as an assault against you somehow, right
because it is not meant that way

i love you
goodnight sweetheart

good morning sweetheart
I love you

good morning sweetheart i love you

I had very complicated dreams
and when I got up
about two hours ago now
I didn't feel like I could have been
asleep for more than
5 minutes
even though
I'd been snoozing
for 30 minutes
but
I was physically very comfortable
so
I don't think
it was a stressful dream
but
I can't remember what it was
and
I don't know what it means


I got 5 hours of sleep
and
I rarely get more than 6
except on days off
I feel like we must have
been discussing important things
do you remember
what
we were talking about?

sweetness

I love you
dream with me tonight
psychedelic visions

ok
it feels like
you've been doing that
corkscrew thing
which is much stranger
standing up
so
I love you
I guess you are trying to get my attention
and
I feel ya
you love me
stuff's ok
I'm just
freaking out

I love you sweetheart
meet me
if you can
in dreamland

how you doin?
love you sweetness

a nice thing happened to me
I was singing along with the music
which usually I don't
but
right then I was
because
I couldn't help myself
and
myrca
she turns to me
and she says
you have a really beautiful voice
and
I can't remember the last time
anyone said that to me
and
it made me really happy


this is the song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ihsQTnCPb70

good morning sweetheart

I love you

I'm not saying
I'd rather be a hermit
than live with you
or anything like that
just
ya know

you can buy land
in that area they are all talking about
close-ish to Marfa
$3000 for 10 acres
you have to be off grid
but
that is cheap enough
to make me think
hey
it's possible
like the convergence of
several dreams
and
I feel a lot less helpless
of course
I'm not sure what
I can build myself
all alone
but
I'm thinkin
I've got ideas


wild wild west 😊

good morning sweetheart
I love you

somehow
I missed seeing notifications
so
probably would have missed


I'm up now
good morning/ early afternoon
I love you

good morning sweetheart
I love you

i hope everything is good
in your world

i love you very much

i'm feeling an intense dread of going to work
it's promo change again
so
i may not be where you expect me to be
at the times
i would normally be there

i think
i need
something
my
attitude needs adjusting

also
i'm starting to bore myself

i don't really want to talk
to people
that talking is what's boring me

i need an adventure

good morning sweetheart

I love you

good morning sweetheart

I love you

good morning sweetheart
I love you

goodnight sweetheart

i love you