WARRIOR POSE

moving on to other things


before I saw the Mira Sorvino thing
I was going to write this:


I don't understand people
I guess
I was a the register
I was being friendly
this lady was checking out
we had a nice little exchange
while I rung her out
then I said
and you have a happy holiday


do they make you say that, she asked
I mean happy holidays
instead of merry Christmas


no, I say
I say that because
I feel it is more inclusive


well, I don't agree with that


she doesn't agree
that it's more inclusive?


you should say merry Christmas


I probably gave her a look
I've never been very good at that
'you have too expressive a face'
I was told a lot
as a child


if you want to
I think she said this
but it may really just have been
her expression
I couldn't say for certain


anyway, merry Christmas
she says


you have a Merry Christmas
I say
and she adds
or Happy Hanukkah
or whatever


and she kind of rushes away


happy solstice
I mutter under my breath
as she walks toward the door
and I wave the next person over


yes
it's much more efficient
to offend people


that's why I just say have a nice day
myrka tells me later
when I'm complaining
it makes me just want to
say happy kwanza
I reply
but
when is kwanza exactly
I think it's January
so we look it up
no
it's the 26th thru the 1st
every year, I ask
check the google
yes
same every year


but
I'm not actually gonna do that


but
I hate it when people get offended
that you aren't privileging
whatever they believe in
I think it's rude


it's not enough I've had to listen to
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
like four times today
I have to say Merry Christmas
to people it might offend
just so random you
can confirm your rightful place
at the center of the universe
or else
I'm against Christmas