i was thinking about camping

i haven't been full on camping since i was much younger
i normally imagine us in a cabin or some such
but
last night
i was thinking about tent camping

i can build fire
[with a match, i'm not claiming i can do friction]
i can do campfire coffee
i've done bacon (which i no longer eat) and flapjacks
not sure how i'd be at something complicated
you don't get even heat, is the problem
but i feel confident
we'd be adequately fed, one way and another

i found
kilim rug underneath bedding to be a good idea
for a variety of reasons
and then we could do whatever kind of bedding we decide is best
i feel confident we could be reasonably comfortable

i haven't ever done the primitive camping
where you have to schlep your gear on your back for miles to the campsite
i'd be willing to
but maybe not as a first go, ya know
besides
i can't lie
i like plumbing, a lot

the main thing about camping, really, is the stars
well, and the fire
but
i was picturing us, really, i think it might have been joshua tree

the coolness of the night
the nearness of you
and
i could almost picture the lovemaking in the tent

but the part of camping that is really romantic
is that kind of zen difference in time and space
the endless moment
it doesn't matter what time it is
nothing
and everything
is happening, together

the brightness of the stars
the warmth and the crackle of the fire
the sound of the wind and the things that might not be the wind
the deep primal feeling

would we talk
would we just sit quietly together
would you hold my hand
would it be beautiful and natural
comfortable

don't get me wrong
i want your body and my body to conjoin

but
i want this other form of intimacy
which i don't really see as separate
maybe even more longingly
since the years of celibacy have ever so slightly dulled
the other throbbing ache