lawn & order

i can't help myself
i imagine
our life
warm washes of color and pattern
not focused
more like tuning in a pattern
more like underpainting
and that imagining
interferes
impinges
confuses
replaces
my life

it frightens me

lately
i imagine this place
like the tiniest little house
it's too small i say
two people cannot live in that place

but the strange thing is, when i imagine you
you never take up space

not like
the bed isn't big enough
or there isn't a chair

like
there doesn't need to be privacy space
like
your never in the way

and
i mean
surely, i cannot be that naive

regardless, i imagine this little place
with this really awesome yard
and, the thing the places we live have in common
is this kinda indoor outdoor vibe, right
so, there
all the space you need

but, i mean before i got the inside furnished
i got this standing outdoor brunch gig scheduled till perdition

and i'm all like:
wtf

and right back i'm like:
if you live in that house you got to do that

wtf, your fantasies are too much work