she was talking [this is a while ago now]
about how people are so mean to her
when she's all going door to door
which i really don't get
though i try to be open minded and all
and i'm telling her:
i don't see why it's necessary to be mean
they should just politely tell you
sorry, not interested, thanks
seems sufficient
then i tell her about my friend
and how her parents wouldn't let her
come over to play
unless she gave me jw lessons
and i've always been a religious seeker
so i was cool with the lessons
but then they wanted me to go to services
and i said i wasn't interested in going to services
why not
i don't want to become a jehovah witness
and aside here:
even if i was amenable to all their beliefs
[which i am emphatically not]
and
even if i was all down with jesus, and whatever
[which i am not]
i would not want to be a jehovah witness
because
not down with the door to door proselytization
not at all
and
if you're a witness
you got to witness
so then
pretty soon
she says she has a gift for me
and she's all weird about it
[makes me go get it out of her car
and open it when i'm alone, whatever]
and it's a jehovah witness bible and study guide and whatever
now
i already said i wasn't interested, right
in the book is a note
about how i don't know it yet
but really we are spiritual sisters
and if this isn't ok with me she will never mention it again
but if i want to i can call her and she'll all show me the light
or whatever
now maybe this is wrong of me
but
i feel like this was kinda disrespectful
because
A. i said i wasn't interested
B. she has never asked me if i have any deeply held beliefs
so like, either, it doesn't matter because they are wrong
or, i could have reached this ripe of an age
without forming any solid opinions
and i'm just floundering for help
which i think is insulting
in the absence of floundering
questioning
or interest
so
i take her at her word
that she will never mention it again
when my father died
i got kinda upset
and most people are cool about it
they just give you a little space, whatever
she's all up in my grill
asking me:
were you close with your father
what the fuck does that matter
whether i was or whether i wasn't
and, of course the answer is yes and then no
how is that an appropriate question
and she hits me that way
all the time
i'll answer almost anything
but
you gotta come at me the right way
and she does not
she wanted to know my middle name
[god knows why]
so she asked me if i had a middle name
no, i am one of like 5 people in the world who do not have a middle name
of course i do
but now i don't want to tell you this innocuous bit of information
because of the way you approached
so then the other day
she said she had been giving me some time
but she wanted me to know
there are some chapters in the book
about how you can be with your loved ones again after death
seriously
if she has the answers
and god is depending on her to spread the good news
then god is in big trouble
cause she could not sell ice water to the patrons of hell
