last night's dreams

i meant to write this right away
because i felt it slipping away
but i got distracted
so let's see what i still got

there were cards
they looked like faded
whitewashed turquoise-y wood
with ethereal outline forms of animals
the only animal i remember
a bat
which has all sorts of associations
didn't seem at all negative
but there was a lot of time spent on
how the finish on the cards was reached


there was a japanese ceremony
where i washed liquid from a large bowl
over a  special cloth
and
a design appeared

there was a girl
with beads
she made beads, i think
i think there was something important in that
she had an attitude
i wanted her to come somewhere with me
or i was trying to impress her
or something
and she didn't have time for me

the night before
i was exhausted when i woke up
because i was moving furniture all night in my dreams
and when i woke up this morning, i thought, wow
the level of skill just shot through the roof
because it was all
to do with
art
and
ritual
and aesthetic, somehow
but i can't remember the specifics

somehow
i see the dreams as in some way
a step forward
but
i mean, more like artistically than maturity-wise
but
i'm irritated
because i can't remember everything
and it seemed important

the cards
seem not too important, but i remember them best
because i went through a whole process in the dream
to figure out how to reproduce them
because i found them so beautiful

does that mean
i'm supposed to make a card deck
or do a reading with some special animal cards
or was it the images on the cards that were important

so many questions

how will i know if i'm right