just stuff

i got this book
the particulars of rapture: reflections on exodus
which i'm excited about
i'm hoping it's my speed
it's by
avivah gottlieb zornberg

i was going to get
have been looking at for about a year
(without being able to quite make myself buy it)
the murmuring deep: reflections on the biblical unconscious
and i may still
but not right now

i hope i like her writing as much as i think i will
and then maybe i'll read them all, eventually
but i'm taking this as my point of entry



i have to tell you something:
i don't like ritual or set prayers
that may be part of the reason
i've never been comfortable with religion

i talk to god
all the time
in my own words
and the idea of saying someone else's proscribed words
sets my teeth on edge

and
the idea that i need a special place to talk to god
i'm not so ok with either
i got into the habit
as a kid
i think
of pretty much always talking to god in the bathroom
cause you're unlikely to be interrupted there, i guess
plus
you're not really needing to divide your attention
and
it's not like you'll forget to go there
it just seemed like, obvious
however, i imagine, that's probably profane, or whatever

don't get me wrong
i talk to god other places
like
wherever i am when i got something to say


it occurs to me
this bathroom revelation
might open up a lot of stuff, contextually