choosing a table and kitchen redo

i was in an old apartment
i was trying to fix it up
i had apparently already done the bathroom
and i was trying to edit
the dining...
i'm gonna call it a nook
because
even though it was a room
it was small
and
really half of it was gonna have to be
something else

but there were two tables
neither of them was quite right, somehow
but i thought both of them were beautiful
but they belonged to my mother, apparently
and she wanted to sell them
but it was like she was selling my childhood
i felt emotionally attached
wanted to hang on
even though they didn't work
i have a desk like that
i keep wanting to replace it
because it just doesn't work
but it's got too much history for me

i keep thinking i'll refinish it
fancy it up
use it as a dressing table
but
who am i kidding
i don't need a dressing table
maybe if i have a foyer
whatever

one of the tables
had a bentwood oval
to rest the glass upon
one had beautiful carving
i was leaning towards the glass top
because it leaves a more open feel
and it was a small space
but now i'm realizing
maybe what it really needed was a booth
maybe i could build in a U-shaped banquet
with under storage
and use the glass table
hmmm, maybe

then i moved into the kitchen
and
it had a super high ceiling
but it was all plaster dust and messed up
and i wanted to paint the top eight feet
and wall paper the bottom whatever it was
five or six
with some easily cleanable stuff
but then too
i thought
maybe i should do a drop ceiling
hang stuff
for extra storage
but
i was totally not competent to do that alone
the benches
i could have done
although
power tools
kinda terrify me
because
i have a tendency to the clumsy
and one of my dad's friends cut off three of his fingers
with a saw when i was a kid
they sewed em back on
and they worked
sorta
but
it made a scary impressing
so
maybe i wouldn't
or
maybe i'd use a hand saw and it'd take forever
(ooooo there'd be no storage with this option
but old fold down wooden stadium seats
would be really cool
though less practical, i guess)

but
i think a drop ceiling is a two man job
but that be cool
a wooden grid, say
suspended down from the high ceiling
although
maybe not
because
if i could reach it without a ladder
it might be a head risk


damn it
where am i going with this
i was so excited about this apartment
and now
i'm not sure if my ideas work

oh well
probably not a very interesting post, then