a lot happened in this dream
it all seemed to be connected
but once i woke up, and am trying to describe it
it's hard for me to describe as the seamless narrative i experienced
as it started
i was a nanny or an au pair
for a very small child, a toddler, who i was quite attached to
i had gone to some group or party or something
and i had written about it
all the women who were there
describing them and their traits and motivations
and what they thought of one another
others had written about it as well
maybe that was the idea: go and write about it
i don't know
but i looked at something like a newspaper or journal, but maybe it was online
and it was talking about what i had written
it was brilliant in it's multiculturalism
or something like that
and i just kept looking at it and reading it and yelling
i was so amazed and excited that i had been noticed for this piece of writing
and i think i was telling the kid about it
i was so happy, so happy, so happy
then some stuff happened that i can't remember
then it was maybe a few years later
and the reason i think it was a few years later
was that the little girl who had been the toddler was there
i was so happy to see her
i didn't know if she would remember me
but she did
i was so happy, really, i loved that kid
and i was at what i'm guessing was a party
it was outside, in a fenced in area, really a large area
the man i love was there
he was wearing this hat, i don't know what to call it
it had a wide brim and it was cloth, sort of a bush hat, but the brim
flopped down on the sides
which was, for some reason, so endearing to me
and he had a kid in one arm, like: whatever, we're working here
and i had to just stop and watch him for a few minutes
then i was talking to a woman
a really really tall man came up to me
and started asking me questions about muffins
our muffins were really good but they were quartered
i had no idea what he meant by that
he seemed really surprised
quartered was apparently an industry standard term of some sort
we have them made for us, i was saying, still trying to get his meaning
apparently he wanted to put in an order
apparently i had a cafe or something where they were popular
but he thought they were too small
he wanted those enormous sized muffins
i looked at the woman next to me
who, i guess worked at the cafe, and she nodded
and i said: i think we can make that happen
and then i looked around the place
and somehow
everything just seemed really right
it's strange how i don't know what was happening
usually in a dream i do know
but this was like i had the emotions, i was there, but i have no idea
where i was, or why i was there, or even if the man i love and i had
any connection to each other there and then
i just know that it all felt really natural
and good
and right
and it felt like a party
it felt like a party i belonged to
and i'm not sure if the klezmer band was actually there
or if it was video
or maybe it was both at different times
i'm not sure
but they were starting to play
up on the outdoor stage
and just as they started
it started
gently
to snow