i dreamed about a room

there was more to the dream than just the room
i know i went down to the pool at least once
but i don't remember any of that very clearly
what i'm sure of:
i was in the room that was mostly mine
when i lived at my grandmother's
i remember the bracket shelves along the wall
with the books and my teddy bears
i remember the strange bed thing
i really think it was supposed to be a bed
but it seemed more like some sort of sectional
i remember how dark that room always seemed to me
and how the ladder for the attic pulled out of the ceiling
i remember how i always got this painful crusty scabbing
on the outside of my ears, i still don't know why
and the medicine that came in the white and red jar
where you pushed down the top and it dispensed a dose
i remember how musty the room always smelled
especially the closet
i used to hide in that closet
i'm not sure why i felt like i needed to hide
or why there

that room was also, in this dream
the room you grew up in
which i'm sure was much nicer in reality
but it was your childhood bedroom for part of the dream
and i was so excited that i was getting to see it
but i'm not sure what exactly the context was
only, in that part of the dream, it seemed like
maybe there were two closets instead of just one
and my bathing suit was in the hiding closet
as were a few other things
so i went to get my suit

and you said
and i heard this echo around in my head
like i've heard a few other things
that makes them seem a little supernatural
rather than just something that i dreamed
which even then i think means something
so i heard you in this magnified way
and what you said:

i'm not taking anything out of that closet

but it wasn't like a nightmare
i'm not crying hysterically
i didn't take it to be a rejection of me
at least not at the time
i wasn't in the closet
and the closet did stink

i wish i could remember the part where i was at the pool
i know it wasn't a pool i went to as a kid
there was something about the membership
it wasn't expensive
but you had to show them...something
i just can't remember what