signs march 29th

I saw a woodpecker today

I haven't seen one

since I was a kid

what does a woodpecker mean 

as an animal guide 

I read stuff but it seems unclear

perhaps persistence or resilience 

which doesn't feel like the same thing

or strength 

SO

generally hang in there baby vibes

BUT 

also the drumming quality 

it's got 

hey this here is a sign 

VIBES

BUT 

I had completely forgotten about it 

& the reading at meditation 

was exactly the thing I'm trying to do 

do different things 

BREAK 

your patterns 

it forces you to engage with the present moment 

I feel like I've got some blind spots

I feel like I'm sensing 

THAT

I'm not SEEING something 

that if I saw it

EVERYTHING 

would be

BETTER 

I feel like 

I've been doing this slide

between some aspects of reality

& the picture of the world I'm currently juggling 

is hard to navigate 

the perspectives 

it's hard to explain but from my perspective 

they don't seem to ever just 

LINE UP

& THAT SOUNDS 

CRAZY

it's NOT that DRAMATIC 

but it hovers or something 

but I'm starting to feel like it's converging 

the STUFF is a sign of

SOME sort of reality 

BYPASSING 

I can't 

EXPLAIN 

when I was in the room in austin

I had been SO freaked out 

SO beyond STRESSED

from all the mom stuff that when I was in the room with the whole 

VISUAL REST

it made me realize that that stuff

WORKS

I gotta fix my visual clutter

& I made a plan

TODAY 

using all the strategies I've learned so far

I'm excited to see 

HOW 

it's gonna work 

I've got

let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

open up your

HEART and let the sunshine in 

playing in my HEAD 

there's a lot going on in there

& I am not sure 

HOW MUCH 

of it I'm not 

SEEING 

I need to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 

check in march 29th

I don't think I can do the april 

I would really like to 

& yes, GENIUS 

& TREE!

notes march 28th

and

there is

JOY

in walking down the middle of the street

LOOKING UP

it's an angle you might

never otherwise 

SEE

at one point 

when I was kinda

disappointingly hobbly

I joked with myself 

I'm in walking dead*

*which I never really watched 

possibly incoherent ramblings

I'm trying to work out

a rollercoaster 

METAPHOR 

or

ASTROWORLD 

had

the Texas Cyclone 

it was an old Coney Island wood rollercoaster 

ya sit in the

FRONT 

or

ya sit in the

BACK 

BOTH

they were good in different ways 

in the front you SEE EVERYTHING 

it is tight maybe compressed

it is FOCUSED 

in the BACK

you are lifting up out of your

SEAT

you are

HOLDING ON

the physical experience is 

in some ways

MORE INTENSE 

because you don't really know what is coming 

and the experience of the march

doesn't MAP 

the the rollercoaster 

the concept of the front & the back being completely different experiences 

is all I'm trying to get at

TODAY 

I didn't MEAN to be

at the FRONT 

I enjoyed the last march with the tuba & sax

walking to music is 

BETTER 

the front was a crowded experience 

they had a truck with people with

megaphones

people got excited when

the chant was

F*CK t*ump

or

F*CK ICE

all the many chants about other things 

LESS excited 

there were some organized groups 

BUT MOSTLY 

it was little clumps of

TWO & THREE

with their OWN concerns

it felt like THAT 

BEFORE 

the clumps of two or three

spread out

this is

pressed together 

I can tell I'm not managing to convey

& I need to go to sleep 

tibetan buddhism 

TOMORROW 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 

notes on march 28th

I love the signs

the THINGS 

people care about

or HOW 

they are presenting 

I enjoy that

a CROWN

on a fool

is

just a HAT

WAR CRIMES 

don't cover SEX CRIMES

the only thing SAFE in america

is the epstein files

don't make me 

REPEAT myself 

--- history 

there was a guy

had a sign

it was like a blow up  ---  monopoly card

GO directly to JAIL 

DO NOT PASS GO

do NOT collect $200

I had a non-verbal show of approval

& it was one of those lovely

human interaction 

moments 

MAKE ORWELL fiction AGAIN 

there was this one

it was beautiful 

I wasn't seeing it up close 

I think it said  IMAGINE 

and then it had an image

of t*ump on fire

an elephant 

shooting fire out of it's trunk

said GOP 

on it's side

notes march 28th

they didn't have porta-cans

we're using the library 

SO

standing in line

this woman wearing a vest - thing 

SAYS

safety marshal

or something like that 

TELLING them -- it's like a bookclub 

THAT'S the atmosphere 

it's LIKE 

we're standing around talking about the CONSTITUTION 

& it reminded me of bill hicks

I understood what he meant KINDA 

when he said 

MAYBERRY 

with three

MILLION 

people 

somehow, I GOT it TODAY

March 28th check in

I expect this no kings to be

BIGGER 

I'm not sure what the actual numbers were 

we walked all the way down to the 

I think it's a bayou

if you keep going 

you end up

at UH

downtown 

BUT 

I knew it was further before I could SEE it

my knee was like

WTSF b*tch

& I'm hobbling a bit

it was a little 

different 

I thought about you a lot

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart