piano at the hospital

LIVE piano music 🎵 🎶 🎵 🎶 

I hope you are having magical beautiful times

I'm going to go early again 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 

🫶

I hate hospitals

on the uber

on the way to the hospital this morning 

we passed by

where I think my pediatrician was

when I was small

she was the wife

of someone my gran gran knew

from piano circles

I weighed myself yesterday 

I've gained back 

a LOT of the 

WEIGHT 

which I don't understand 

because I'm wearing the same clothes

well pants

dr lorenzen

my pediatrician 

I'm remembering the time

I was like none or ten or something 

she talked to me

ALONE

& told me

that GOD had seen fit to have me 

BORN with 

all my fingers & toes

& I OWED it

to GOD

to lose

the extra weight 

& I think about THAT 

whenever I think about being 

FAT

& I WONDER 

did she f*CKing think I was

FEEDING MYSELF 

why not

MENTION it to the f*CKers who were

DECIDING what I got to EAT

& HOW 

MUCH 

the cardiologist came by

said the surgeon wasn't coming 

because the nurse practitioner had already been by & she was TOO weak to be a good candidate for surgery 

then the surgeon 

DID come by

SAID 

her heart was STRONG 

& she didn't NEED surgery 

I'm LIKE 

she not a good candidate 

he's like 

she doesn't NEED surgery 

NEITHER of them

thought her heart was what brought her in 

the attending

is talking about releasing her to

a skilled nursing facility 

& I'm LIKE 

we don't know what is WRONG with her yet

I'm exhausted 

& frustrated 

& would like proof that she can't walk

magic

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

checking stuff off the list

I had the password right 

I had the user name 

WRONG 

it was a different email 

that I must have signed up with originally 

or something 

BUT 

I did it

all done

not as bad as I was afraid of 

BUT 

higher, yes

things and stuff

TODAY 

songs stuck in my HEAD 

thanksgiving day parade 

miracle and wonder 

a thousand years 

did practice run for tomorrow for time schedule 

did laundry 

drove the car

did visualization to reality exercise which worked*

checked in with mom via text

now icing knee

*a f*CKton of people live in my apartments, but when I come back there is rarely anyone driving in the gate -- I almost always need my card, which I forgot to take with when I left for driving.  Now, I can park on the street, go in, get the card, come back out, drive around the block to the gate -- I didn't want to do that.  So on the way back I visualized a car going in ahead of me and when I got there it was there and the timing was right.