sprouts update

still growing 

thoughts march 21st

I chanted nam myoho renge kyo 

last night for like idk an hour-ish before bed

& my intention was a little foggy

SOMETHING 

around

raising my consciousness 

getting back to a place where I am not avoiding 

people mostly 

I guess 

& THEN

I passed out and slept for more than 

TWELVE hours

& DREAMED

and dreamed and dreamed

about all kinda crazy scenarios with people 

ALSO 

I was flying around in a helicopter 

I got it caught in a tree

& had to figure out how to get it down

I don't know what any of that 

MEANS 

it felt like I was working through some stuff

I'm listening to the chanting now

while I type this

I guess I want to become 

a magnet for wonderful experiences 

I want to ENJOY being around people 

I want to find people enriching 

instead of draining

I feel like I had that ability in my past

I'm not unhappy 

BUT 

I need to put myself out there as they say

in order for the UNIVERSE to have

OPPORTUNITIES to 

GIVE me

all the stuff it's lining up

& I need to connect with the humans

I've shut down in ways I need to

crank back up

thoughts about special stuff

I've been thinking about it 

I never got to go to

any kind of

SUMMER 

CAMP

&

I didn't have the joy of dairy queen 

BUT 

if you followed the apartment property 

if you went out on the one side

there was the bottle smashing bar

& the baby giant convenience store 

on the other side there was a

whataburger

& a vacant lot

in the summer there was a SNOW CONE stand

my dad did their sign I think

they had a bajillion

FLAVORS

& SOMETIMES we got snow cones

that's the closest thing I can think of

WELL

there was ASTROWORLD they had season passes

BUT 

you still had to get someone to 

TAKE 

you

I was writing this when I fell asleep I wasn't in a groggy state when I was writing but then I got in bed and passed out without finishing

I've been doing that

nam myoho renge kyo chant

I don't know whether I think it does anything or not 

BUT 

I DO

LIKE 

chanting 

& I can get on board with chanting

MAYBE mix it UP 

I did find another 

buddhist temple

they teach zen meditation in English

in a free thing that runs

for several months

with dharma talks after

from the reviews it seems like it's really good 

& pretty diverse 

it is taiwan based

& the information videos 

seem somewhat like they're selling you a timeshare or something 

SO

I'm not sure about it either 

there are a bunch of temples that don't have anything in English

I guess 

if I want to understand what's going on 

I have to pick my poison 

now if it's not religion I want 

MAYBE 

the jung center is more like my speed

I've found TWO parks

one east & one west

roughly within a five mile radius 

that have "health and wellness programming"

which I didn't even know was a thing 

ya KNOW what else I used to enjoy 

that I'm not sure I remember how to do

PLAY backgammon 

I used to play it with gigi all the time 

& I thought it had

a really good balance of skill to luck

made it still fun to play

even if the skill levels of players were 

poorly matched 

they're growing

slightly MORE sprouted 🌱🌱

I guess I had stuff to talk about

the food dept

SAYS 

the Alabama hot slaw from the moosewood cookbook*

*it something like lunch at the moosewood or something like that it's my favorite one it's all soups & salads

is great on fish tacos 

& as a side

& on po boys

I guess 

moosewood makes me KINDA a hippy-ish

WHAT ---girlie

I remember seeing the broccoli forest cookbook 

on one of the shows when I was a kid

I'm pretty sure the author 

COOKED something 

& I was CHARMED by it somehow 

JUST attracted to the CONCEPT which was WHAT 

MAYBE 

there was an omelette recipe 

I was super into

OMELETTES

I'm not 💯 that I ever actually had the broccoli forest -- I think I did but it seems equally likely that WHEN you actually got old enough to GET yourself a cookbook 

I THINK you BOUGHT the LUNCH one

it was KINDA beautiful 

because the stories

HOW THIS 

BECAME 

a beloved dish, the person who brought the RECIPE 

& it was great because it was 

VERY SHARING 

they made it 

SO I felt

LIKE 

I had this WHOLE SENSE of the place 

I ENJOY a good cookbook

I KINDA think 

the broccoli forest was just one woman

BUT 

in the ensuing years 

the group had kinda worked it's way back in

& I think when I went to buy

BROCCOLI 

I had heard the scuttlebutt 

which was like MAYBE 

she didn't really have the rights to use

MOOSEWOOD 

I think I looked at whatever was available 

at THAT time 

but then subsequently

there are many

MORE 

I got some of those 

I should probably look at again

I got em thrift cheap on eBay 

& the STEW one

had a page ripped out 

& I MIGHT 

have bought a second copy

& been disappointed 

that it wasn't 

ACTUALLY 

the BEST 

RECIPE in the book 

OR 

that was a STORY I TOLD myself 

to KEEP myself FROM 

buying a second 

COPY 

I'm honestly not sure 

BUT 

my attempt to lay odds might be

don't bet against 

there being 

TWO books

it might not make sense, but just don't 

there's tai chi in a park I haven't been to 

BUT 

it's near things I know 

it's at a TIME 

when

TRAFFIC will be unavailable 

OR

a time TOO early 

I thought tai chi in the park SOUNDS fun 

then I'm all LIKE 

well then do you have other THINGS in the AREA 

I don't want to drive in traffic 

THREE we need to leave by three and have three hours of something planned in the AREA 

OR 

morning 

OR

I MEAN 

alternatively 

freak out at the IDEA of the park

there's a school of tai chi in the AREA that when I looked it UP

SEEMED 

to ONLY have free classes in parks

SO

MAYBE 

the school is one on one instruction 

idk

I think it might be awesome 

BUT 

I feel like I'm missing 

SOMETHING 

I have no 

CONTEXT

for

I MEAN 

do they program the park

I guess they DO

I went to the

PARK

website & looked at the calendar 

SO

do they pay the school 

OR

is it like a community thing

BUT 

if you like THIS we can show you MORE 

for an undisclosed amount

OH

it's late

SLEEP now

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶 

sprouts are sprouting

LOOK 

they're starting to sprout 🌱 

YAY