check in march 16th-ish

I'm sorry 

it's like my mind was

WORKING on an SOMETHING 

& I just didn't 

TALK 

I'm not

SURE what it's doing 

NOT just ONE thing

I THINK 

I love the way the slow banjo sounds

& I'm slipping 

into the nooks & crannies in the narrative 

by which I mean

I don't know what I think 

about all the

directions I'm running with it

I'm ALSO 

really thinking about 

TIME TRAVEL 

which I haven't done in a while 

I started the sunflower seeds 

I cleaned some 

I listened to

some videos about the RED BOOK*

*carl jung

some videos with handpan

edgar casey predictions of 2026

my dad was super into

edgar casey

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I'm gonna try to sleep now 

ps -- it's cold again -- weird

I'm gonna try to sleep

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

IDEA march 15th

I have this kinda something 

rolling around in my 

HEAD 

I wanna try to 

TELL you 

ABOUT 

it

I take a jar of PICKLES out of the REFRIGERATOR 

I find myself 

STANDING in the kitchen 

refrigerator door 

OPEN 

I WANT ---SOMETHING 

THIS  ---is a place I am broken

that sounds really dramatic --is it really that dramatic 

THIS ---connects me to my father 

it's late night binge eating 

I'm NOT 

BINGE eating 

OK let's be 

CLEAR

you ONLY have healthy food in the house

& you are limiting quantities

you're calling it a meal

you still fit in your clothes

I'm talking about what you are enacting

I ALMOST DIED ---last night ---he said to me

and then he would tell me a story 

being up

LATE

eating in the night

I FEEL like I should ADD something 

BRIGHT LIGHT in the KITCHEN 

he had eaten

CHEESE 

& PEANUT BUTTER 

& he almost hadn't lived

to TELL 

AND

REMEMBER when 

he tried to teach you about

bulimia 

BUT 

you were too THICK to pick up on it

I take a jar of pickles out of the refrigerator 

I take the lid off 

I DRINK

PICKLE JUICE ---oh good the pickles are basically STILL covered with pickle juice*

*there is a somewhat joyful acknowledgement of this fact since it came late in the process and couldn't be assured 

is THAT what you WANTED 

WELL 

I MEAN I think the point is that you are trying to USE FOOD to FILL

a METAPHORICAL

HUNGER

BUT 

if you're asking 

it KINDA 

HIT the

SPOT