BAGUETTE
RUN
the MORE
I LOVE it
Friday, November 7, 2025
where is my mind
I forgot to tell you my DREAMS
I can't remember all of it
there was a part
where there were two of me
or two people, anyway
TRAPPED in my HEAD
there was a part
where I had
a little
CAT
&
it would fling itself at the side of a building
(we were walking outside)
&
when it HIT the WALL
it puffed up into this BIG PINK pixilated
SOMETHING
MAYBE
pig or hippo or what's that thing
MOOMIN
it wasn't SCARY exactly
BUT
it WAS a whole
KINETIC something
& there WAS, I think, a LOT of
FIGHT in the dreamscape
though
NOT the punching
KIND
it was LIKE
AGITATION anthropomorphized
or FELINE-promorphized
or whatever
new rules
of course
he cancelled therapy
& on the one hand
WHATEVER
he's human, he's having problems, I'm worried about him
BUT
on the
OTHER
HAND
WHY
am I always explaining away
OTHER people's BEHAVIOR
BUT
NOT allowing myself to be
ANGRY
that what I HAD a RIGHT to EXPECT
(although in my mind that becomes complicated by the fact that I don't believe you have the right to EXPECT MUCH)
I don't know HOW to be
ANGRY
PROPERLY
NOT
psychotic RAGE like my mom
NOT
a FOREVER slow burn like my father
SOMETHING
ELSE
& MAYBE
THAT is a KEY to solving the grievance problem
OR
MAYBE
it just helps me to
NOT FEEL LIKE
I need to run away from things
because I can't DEAL with them without
BECOMING a MONSTER
LIKE
if I JUST
why does it seem like
FIGHT CLUB
SUDDENLY
applies to
everything
TODAY is ANGER DAY
Thursday, November 6, 2025
I had a weird day
I also thought
about baguettes
as weapons
FELONY FOOTLONGS
& thought about the scene in twin peaks
where he's explaining about the
SANDWICHES he had in Paris
BAGUETTE + butter + SALT
I'm almost
AFRAID to believe that
I'm supposed to have therapy tomorrow
I MEAN we'll SEE
viva la resistance
goodnight sweetheart
I LOVE you VERY much
say cheese
I thought about you at the grocery store yesterday too
I wanted to tell you
I LOVE
MANCHEGO
I do have a few cheeses
I'm not crazy about
BUT
not MANY
I discovered
6,7 years ago
that I don't like burrata
which surprised me
isn't it JUST hyped up mozzarella, I asked myself
BUT
mozzarella is high on my list of soft cheeses
& I decided
it's just a case of
TOO MUCH
CREAM
I KNOW it will make me sick
SO, my body just says
UM, no
CUSTARD, yes
creme brulee, never leave the bathroom
CHOCOLATE, yes
chocolate mousse, never leave the bathroom
ICE CREAM, is other food dependent
it's like the snake rhyme
red and yellow
kill a fellow
yellow and black
friend of Jack
learned in first grade
because
CORAL SNAKES
there is some quantity of CREAM
which BECOMES problematical
especially OVER
SAY, sauteed ONIONS
there is some Norwegian cheese I don't like
it's a brownish green
looks like dried boogers
tastes of slightly sweet
SOMETHING
my thought -- boogers
I even like blue cheese in SMALL amounts
like IN things
I'm not eating big chunks
& I haven't tried
LIMBURGER
six weeks
on bread and cheese and fruit
YES
if you mix in
PASTRY
I am a puddle
on the floor
ALTHOUGH
PASTA
&
Mediterranean SEAFOOD
BUT
RIGHT NOW
I'd FIGHT CLUB for
a two by two inch cube of mature english cheddar
SMOKED
good morning sweetheart
I hope you are having
a beautiful day
Wednesday, November 5, 2025
more thoughts
from each
according to their
ABILITY
to each
according to their
NEED
I was thinking about that today TOO
I remember
arguing with my mom
in nineteen eighty
WAIT
until you
ARE
RICH
to VOTE like
you WERE ALREADY
I identified
UNION family
my paw paw was IBEW
& my father was
in the sign painters union
OH
I had forgotten THIS
he used to say
he was pretty sure you were
SUPPOSED to have gone to prison to join
& he wasn't sure how he had managed to get in
I DID
think about my dad some
in relation to HOW
I don't think I
LOOK
how I look
he was always talking to me about
PROJECTING
BUT
so much of what we SEE is body posture
CONFIDENCE -- the SPIRIT that
ANIMATES
he had a bunch of them
SOME were LIKE training
~if you see someone without a smile
give them one of yours
~if you are ever walking in an area
where you don't FEEL
SAFE
PROJECT --
I am LATE for the THING
NEARBY
where I am
EXPECTED
I don't think
that's what most dad's probably do, huh
notes on today
I've had lincoln nebraska
stuck in my HEAD
ALL DAY
I was humming along irl
& then
I calmed down
a little
&
I started getting
TOLEDO
thinking about it
BUT
KINDA adding in all the years of stuff
since I heard it originally
AND
it kind of IS a holiness
AND
THEN as I've gotten calmer
OR
possibly more accurately
I've gotten somewhat
wound up
about
FELONY FOOTLONGS
&
lawyers throwing signs
the whole surreal circus
has HAD a DAY
SO
THEN I THOUGHT
about the black Sox
BUT
then TOO I thought about
your agents
& the ways
that makes me think
MAYBE
I don't really like her
BUT
THEN
it also makes me think
f*CK yeah
AGENTS
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