monday January 19th

YES

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I was surprised the world still had anything to do with us after dubya & all the STUFF 

billy bragg

wrote a thing I read

about

HOW disorganized & chaotic these bad guys are

& how America is at it's 

BEST

when we're proving that we can be

aligned with our ideals

we don't always stand up for but sometimes DO

we've beaten the like of this

BEFORE 

& he got a lot of people telling him 

he's naive 

& felt the need to edit 

I was reading post edit

SO

I'm not sure what he changed

AND

I've given up thinking I can predict elections

BUT 

I don't believe 

that EVIL will triumph 

BUT 

I believe 

LESS than I EVER have 

that we ever actually 

BEAT anything 

I think we've ONLY 

MAYBE 

kept it at bay

BUT 

THIS here NOW 

is the best group of white people we've ever had

in terms of believing in IDEALS vs PARADIGM 

AGAIN 

MAYBE 

& I don't believe EVIL will win

BUT 

I've got 

DOUBT

& I wish I didn't 

BUT 

the way they are going about things

is the DUMB way

& it has given me

HOPE 

that they won't manage to pull it off

but geez 

it's a WEIRD version of HOPE 

goodnight sweetheart sunday january 18th

I STILL haven't 

contacted my therapist 

I need to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much 

I hope everything is beautiful where you are

hope to see you in dreamland 

TONIGHT 

thoughts Sunday January 18th

I maybe had TOO MUCH caffeine 

regardless

I had

ANXIETY 

not extreme 

BUT 

I'm not stressing about all the

THINGS

I want to be on top of

it's a fair number of moving parts

& I'm not stressing about it 

BUT 

I think some

ANXIETY 

just, ya KNOW, bubbled UP 

I watched little pieces

some skin care

some fountain pen 

SOMETHING else -- I can't remember 

BUT 

if it gets where I'm not paying attention 

I SWITCH it 

& I'm switching a fair amount 

I haven't needed to take ibuprofen for my knee

I'm taking chlorella 

STILL 

or AGAIN, since I missed a DAY

& I stopped taking the

VEGAN omega3 & astaxthin 

SO

I need to get THAT back up & running 

I saw a thing

MICHELLE Obama

is maybe 

running for president 

& I have FEELS about it 

whether it's true 

or not

I don't like the dynasty vibe

I don't LIKE 

that he didn't walk any of it 

BACK 

after 
W

I LIKE

HER

I liked them, I like him

& I guess it got me thinking about 

the way THINGS have been 

GOING 

&

she GAVE him 

HER nobel prize

& I guess that's part of what brought about

something about guantanamo bay and something bout all these cows 

I'm trying to find 

the balance 

where I'm NOT freaking out 

AM I supposed to let myself FEEL 

ANY of what's going on 

I'm NOT SURE if I 

REALLY do

that I can 

HANDLE it

TOFU Sunday January 18th

I have a new tofu recipe 

I used to make this

tofu scramble 

modification from the vegan cool girl -- I can't remember her name -- isa Chandra Moskowitz

BUT 

pretty modified 

SO

I wanted to see if I could do it with the EARTH

it's like a brown gravy

KINDA

FIRM TOFU

cooked in some MCT c-8 

+ nutritional yeast 

+ EARTH

+ a spoon of bone broth concentrate 

+ a splash of vegetable broth 

+ a big squeeze of 

GARLIC PASTE 

I was pretty

pleased

it's cold

here

tarot synchronicity

OH

& I did a reading today

WHAT

I said, is the purpose of my life 

& it said 

THREE of WANDS

EMPRESS 

THREE of PENTACLES 

three threes

more thoughts

OH

AND

something about guantanamo bay

& something bout all these cows

SO

maybe I'm doing some

american retrospective 

wandering minds

move around 

goodnight sweetheart

that line

in a land of half a billion guns

no where to turn to

no where to 

RUN

has been running through my HEAD 

& the DEVIL was a PRO

which is from an older song that had some similar configurations

& some other

thoughts about you

I'm kinda surprised I didn't write anything 

I thought about you 

OFF and ON all day and

what you might 

be doing

I need to go to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I hope you are having fun 

meeting new

FRIENDS 

you are 

MAGIC 

slightly weird day

I decided 

NEXT WEEK 

might be kinda stressful 

I slept LATE 

TODAY

then I didn't do much 

I tried some

variations on soup

which

honestly 

we're not completely successful 

I'm experimenting with 

what spices work best with the healthforce nutritionals EARTH 

it has this slightly minty flavor 

which I THINK comes with the red clover

I'm overly sensitive to that flavor

I had very active DREAMS but I can't remember 

I watched a thing 

about the shroud of turin 

it was really interesting 

BUT 

un-vetted

LIKE 

who made this video & what are their credentials 

I didn't check

BUT 

it was fascinating 

I've never been very interested in the shroud 

I remember when they were studying it

BACK in the DAY

BUT 

I just didn't really 

CARE

this did all kind of DNA

all my feed is DNA now

the shroud

traveled 

it was

a traveling reliquary 

& it picked up

DNA

from people from all across the world

POLLEN

from thistles from the Israeli desert

some STORY 

about radiation burns -- or something 

biochemical explanations 

for the redness

of the blood

linen deterioration matching to masada 

I still don't know what I THINK about the shroud 

I MEAN 

if all of that is TRUE 

it MIGHT mean SOMETHING 

it SEEMS odd

that I still don't really CARE 

BUT 

I MEAN 

if jesus was

an alien or an embodied god

do you THINK he cares whether I'm worked up about his burial shroud

goodnight sweetheart

I need to sleep 

I don't really know what to say about today 

she's less psychotic 

since the place she is now

looks like a hospital 

instead of a nursing home 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart