ALSO

WHY

are all the TAROT readings 

I'm currently doing 

LOOKING LIKE 

EVERYTHING'S 

COMING UP

ROSES

OK GOD

I don't MEAN to be disrespectful 

BUT 

WHAT the SERIOUS f*CK

HOW 

is it even possible 

that THIS is the outcome 

I don't know 

WHAT 

I'm supposed to DO

NOBODY f*CKing understands what I'm talking about EVER

HOW am I supposed to 

CHANGE people's 

MINDS 

I'm sitting in Katz's happy hour 

drinking a margarita 

BUT 

I only brought twenty dollars cash

so I wouldn't just get sh*t-faced

I understand that people have 

FREE WILL and all

BUT 

what happened to 

TAKE our country BACK

& I've been trying to avoid social media

BUT I want to PUNCH andras in the face

& the few THINGS 

I HAVE seen

are HORRIBLE 

KAMALA was brave and classy and all the things you'd expect her to be

BUT 

DAMN

THAT HURT 

SO 

BAD

Imma NEED MORE from you

I understand that that is not our dynamic

BUT 

Db just spent a year

trying to bust me out of the

MADNESS 

that that ORANGE f*CK sent me into BEFORE 

SO I ask you

as respectfully as I can manage 

WHAT'S the 

PLAN 

here

an I supposed to lead people into the desert

or some sh*t

write a book about

#mERic@

just figure out my own life and not worry about it

join organizations and have to interact with bunches of people

I don't SEE

HOW 

I make this BETTER 

& LIKE 

I KNOW 

this is maybe not as BAD 

as some other times and places

BUT 

it FEELS like it

KINDA is

I SAY AGAIN 

PLEASE ADVISE 

I don't KNOW WHY

I'm NOT freaking out 

&

I STILL 

have FREEDOM in my HEAD 

I'm trying to 

NOT convinced myself to 

FREAK OUT 

because what possible benefit is to be gained

I LOVE this country 

I don't WANT to 

RUN AWAY

I MEAN 

in fact I maybe always want to run away

I WANT the country that doesn't yet exist 

I just think

maybe 

there's something I'm supposed to do 

or can do

&

I'm trying to figure out WHAT

BUT 

ALSO 

trying to meditate 

& not having

good luck with it

BUT 

the CALM makes

NO SENSE 

to me

especially on the heels of the anxiety that I've had going on for SO LONG 

I'm not being flippant or anything 

I'm LIKE 

in a different kind of place

mentally than I think

I've ever been in

when I figure out 

WORDS

I'll try to tell you about it

I LOVE you 

I understand that this is probably not 

the way I could be expected to behave

I HOPE 

I'm NOT somehow

making it more difficult 

I've got

BEYONCE 

FREEDOM 

LOUD

in my HEAD

ALSO 

BAD cold flashes

AND

I THINK I feel YOU 

in that ELECTRIC way

❤️

SO

I don't know if you are up

I just looked at 

twitter

& it LOOKS like 

the orange thing won

I don't see HOW that is possible 

I still FEEL like 

everything's fine 

MAYBE 

I'm just

SOMETHING 

I don't know what to call it

I don't see HOW 

it could be OK 

if he won

POSSIBLY I'm NOT psychic 

& MAYBE 

I just took too much magnesium 

could that account 

for it

OR

is it the CALM in a CRISIS thing

IDK

BUT 

I LOVE you 

& I'm going to bed

🫶🫶🫶

👾🫚

❤️

I don't know what is up

BUT 

I'm not stressed

I still think she wins

BUT 

I have no sense of 

FEAR

whatever is going to happen 

SEEMS 

FINE 

& I can't see how t*ump winning would be fine

BUT 

I got Saturday in the park

in my HEAD

TEXAS did not flip

& it SEEMS 

unlikely 

that she wins by double digits

those were things

I thought would happen 

IDK

I can't WATCH

I've been doing RANDOM sh*t

I am CALM

I haven't been CALM

for a long time 

I MIGHT 

go to bed though 

I'm TIRED 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 💋

goodnight 🫶 

👾🫚

this is 

STRESSFUL 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

👾🫚

I watched that

swing state rally

I'm so scattered

BUT 

I THINK she's gonna win

BIG enough 

that they will call it

Tuesday night

or into Wednesday morning 

I don't KNOW 

what kind of proud boys fallout there might be

I have SOME fear

that they'll be out trying to stop people from voting, but that might just be

PARANOIA 

I couldn't understand the lyrics to the new one

I TRIED but I couldn't 

I hope you are safe

& not freaking out as much as me

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I feel like I might pass out

please God

I KNOW 

you didn't let t*ump die when he had COVID

like I wanted you to

PLEASE 

let that be because he needed to LOSE

to a black woman

PLEASE

& ALSO PLEASE

LET there be a REPUDIATION of the

REPUBLICAN candidates

who lied & gaslit

& basically 

sold their souls to hold on to POWER

AND PLEASE 

NO having to fight against 

AUTHORITARIANISM 

every four years

I KNOW 

there's work to do on racism

I UNDERSTAND 

that it's partially a human trait

with the fear bias against the "other"

& the opening scene of 2001 looms large

if I'm supposed to figure out this

GRIEVANCE thing

I haven't YET 

BUT 

I'm trying HARD 

I'm looking for SIGNS

I'm listening to the universe 

& I don't even know what eight miles high

in my HEAD 

this morning was supposed to mean

ALSO

I always thought 

it was three miles high

& it was always 

the SOUND 

WHAT is with me & psychedelic STUFF 

I'm not sure what kinda job I'm doing 

with this mission 

I MEAN 

if I'm screwing it up

MAYBE some feedback, I could course correct

I don't FEEL wildly successful, ya know

& I'm NOT saying you need to help

with that

from LIKE a my feelings standpoint 

BUT 

there is a mission, right

ANYWAY 

thanks for listening 

I feel like

we don't talk as much as we used to

MAYBE that's my fault 

or maybe it is just the natural way of things

PLEASE 

take care of Db for me

PLEASE 

help me get BETTER and show me

WHERE I make things better 

I KNOW 

I frequently say

I WISH I loved my mother more

BUT 

I'm NOT actually SURE that I want that

it MIGHT just

HURT more

I REALLY just want to

UNDERSTAND 

her HUMANITY and not see her as a SHELL 

it REALLY brings me down

WHY

did I choose her for this lifetime 

did I f*CK her up bad in a previous life

am I ATONING

or TRAINING 

ANY GUIDANCE 

is appreciated 

please advise

I LOVE you 

❤️

I feel like I just channelled TK

my butcher box

needed updated payment information 

I kept trying to fix it

BUT 

EVERY time

it was sending me an email link

&

when I clicked the email link 

it wasn't working 

SO I CALLED 

SORRY 

I can't help you with THAT 

I'm LIKE 

I don't understand 

I JUST need to update the EXPIRATION date 

I'm not changing anything else 

she (and she sounds older than me)

starts trying to tell me

about deleting

COOKIES 

I TRIED THAT 

I have done it 

TO THE BEST of MY ABILITIES 

my NEXT step

would be to try to get some kind of independent tech support and I don't want to have to do THAT I don't understand WHY it isn't POSSIBLE to do THIS 

I'm sorry I just can't do it here

can you CANCEL my account there

I would rather do THAT

than to have this technical problem I cannot deal with

I'm NOT trying to give you a hard time

I understand you are trying to help me

& you have been lovely

BUT 

I'm KINDA stressed out

GENERALLY 

(I was almost in tears at this point)

I do not know why

the STRESS of technology I don't understand 

is SO stressful to me

BUT it is

she told me to go have a hot tea

& she would shoot me up the

next level tech support 

I went back and LOOKED at 

the error message 

AGAIN 

read it MORE CLOSELY 

it was a re-direct problem

I THOUGHT 

well yeah

I'm being re-directed to some other site

BECAUSE 

they have some dumb system

WHY can't I just go

TO MY ACCOUNT 

& I STILL think

THAT is a legitimate question 

JUST go to my account 

LOOK at the method of payment 

BUT 

when I REALLY read 

the error message 

the re-direct

was shop app

I had it linked through there for tracking purposes 

BUT 

I probably PAID through there

SO

COOKIES

on butcher box

would not have fixed it even if I had managed to do it right, which I'm certain I did not 

BUT 

THAT is NOW 

UPDATED

SO

the next time they 

what we used to call "running the card"

it should WORK 

& I emailed her back THAT

I BET

she CAN do THAT 

💀💀💀