check in april 2nd

I went through things

moved furniture around 

& lugged stuff

to the dumpster 

THEN 

I went & had a lie-down

& fell asleep 

THEN

I woke up

ate something 

& I've been 

measuring things

& thinking 

& watching videos 

BUT 

I haven't gotten any more accomplished 

my head hurts

so I'm probably going back to sleep soon 

pebbles are beautiful 

& so are you

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much 

check in april 1st

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

I feel like I was in some kind of 

FLUX

I can't make any of it 

coherent 

I'm starting a shaolin audible book

I need to sleep 

I'll try to be

coherent 

TOMORROW 

🫶

up late picking

I'm not asleep yet

I NEED to QUIT picking at my face

I found out

it's a form of stimming

I'm not certain whether what I'm doing is stimming or more of a neurotic thing

BUT 

IF

it's stimming 

it OUGHT to be 

plug & play switched

for a DIFFERENT 

STIM

that spinning I used to do

ALSO 

possibly 

STIMMING 

check in march 31st

I have been WEIRD today 

out of calibration 

BUT 

I got some STUFF DONE 

SO

I'm not complaining 

BUT 

I wasn't properly able to appreciate (hah spelled right even before spelling arbitration)

the beauty

nescafe

it turns out that woodpecker 

is LUCKY & opportunity 

KNOCKING 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 

goodnight 

more thoughts

OH

ps

my KNEE feels 

pretty good 

TODAY

which 

I thought was

AWESOME 

check in march 30th

I can in no way quantify 

BUT 

something has shifted

AGAIN 

haven't cracked the blind spot puzzle

YET

I feel more solid than I often do

I'm re-living some of that stuff with my mom

& I'm sort of metabolizing it

is how it feels to me 

the things t*ump does that I 

RECOGNIZE 

& I feel like maybe that's where we came in on the CRAZY 

leading into the pandemic 

I hadn't been doing well for some time already

& THEN everything else got 

end of the world-ish

with the pressers every day

& it's plague times

& THEN

I just went to the

TOXIC CORE

& then for a while

a little cross triggering 

& idk if I'm making sense 

I had a lot of FEELS 

which I guess was good 

BUT 

it wasn't all living in the moment 

I went to the grocery store 

SO

three days in a row

leaving the house

engaging in extroverted sensing

proximity to humans

STILL 

I don't think THAT 

REALLY 

captures it

I think I need some sleep 

& DREAMS are important 

goodnight sweetheart 

I LOVE you VERY much