my poor cat

he doesn't know what to think of me
he wants patterns
he wants routines
I'm not real good at that stuff
because I don't really believe
in their value
I mean
if I have to be at work at the same time every day
then, yeah
I'll get up at the same time
because it takes me a certain
amount of time
to get ready


but
as an example
I can remember in high school
somebody asked me
what order I wash in the shower
and I didn't understand their question


well, like what do you wash first
I was stumped
and I tried to notice
and it's not the same


now
driving places
I have favorite ways to go
and those are about as close as I come
I guess, to routines
but
sometimes I have a premonition
and I go a different way
and sometimes
especially on the way home
I forget to turn
I get distracted
and then my 20 minute shortcut
turns into 45minute drive home
the 2.5 miles
faster to walk, really


but
this week
he's doing the cat version
of throwing up his hands
in exasperated disbelief
I don't remember what was weird about Sunday and Monday, but yesterday
there was no hot water
just inexplicably
the complex office wasn't open yet
and besides, it's not like they drop everything and run over to fix my issue
but
it was still cold enough
that a cold shower was out of the question
so rather that getting in the shower like i was supposed to
I went to the kitchen
put water in the electric kettle to heat
got a big bowl
got the lavender dr bonners soap that I keep under the sink for washing makeup brushes
grabbed some washcloths
mixed up a large bowl of warm diluted soapy water


now it had to be pretty diluted
because soap doesn't wash easily off my skin
and if any is left on
it sets super super irritated
but, I know from experience
that if I use baby wipes
I will not feel clean
and it will distract me all day
not that I'm a clean freak


the wipes just don't work for me
I often don't use soap at all in the shower
I probably am a hippie
but I'm serious about the soap not washing off thing


anyway
pits, breasts, and groin
that's what I washed
and then
clean water washcloths multiple times
seems like it shoulda been fast
but it took a lot longer than the shower
plus
I was standing naked in the kitchen
which I rarely do
kitty was fascinated


now
today is a day off
but I got up at 7
even though I didn't go to bed until 2:30
because I needed to put out the trash
I didn't want to have to carry it down
and i wanted to clean out the fridge for that
mostly I don't bother
because you can't put it out at night
and they pick it up at 8
and they only do it once a week
and I'm right at the beginning
so I might get up
and it's 8
but they started early
so whatever


I was going to go back to sleep
but then I felt very awake
and I didn't


but I still might
also
hot water inadvertently back
so hot shower probably in order
I have a bunch of chores
that I didn't do on Sunday
because of arctic weather
grocery
laundry
cleaning out the fridge made some extra dishes to wash
all very glamorous


the poor cat
he's so traumatized
or bored
he's taken himself off somewhere