i guess everything really is connected

i've never really gotten into thrifting
not really
i've gone to a few "good" thrift stores
and mostly bought housewares
i'm not an average size
so clothes shopping holds it's challenges
and
it never seemed worth the trouble

but
it's a thing now
i'm all about the clothes
well, not really
not like when i was young
but
i'm about the color and excitement of changing up
a system that has worked really well for me

black clothes
you could pour wine and coffee and blood all over me
and
it washes out and doesn't stain
black clothes
all go together
if i have two semi clean pieces i'm good to go

but
not so with anything else
so i need grades of risk clothing
today i'm likely to get dirty
what will i not cry if i ruin

and that led me to the salvation army

now, there is a cheaper thrift store
like everything's a dollar
but
i'd have to drive there and it's busy, and in a neighborhood
i don't frequent
where i would feel uncomfortable if my car wouldn't start
and where i have specifically bad memories
which would rise from the deep to disturb the experience

i haven't been able to work myself up to that one, yet

salvation army, however, is large, mostly clothing
so, similar, but more expensive
and
a new one has opened less than a mile from my house

besides
i've donated a LOT of clothes over the years to the salvation army
[they have those convenient drop off centers]
so they owe me some good stuff


so i went
after work
and
it was an experience


they have things roughly sorted by color and like, sleeve length, or whatever
plus they have specials
which is fun
orange tag items 30% off
yellow tag items one dollar
of course i couldn't see any tags  --  on anything
how much is any of this, not sure
but, ya know, i'm looking for context clues
they had signs
sleeveless shirts $5.49
long-sleeve shirts $6.49

i mean they were in spanish
but i figured it out

i looked through a pretty substantial number of garments
and i had only found two i was sure would fit me
without trying them on
and i didn't want to do the whole dressing room thing

i was looking for sleeveless shells
or tanks or whatnot
that could be worn under jackets
and also a red jacket to go with my new red palazzos

so i had found
a silky green whatnot and an orangy knit shell

that was not very productive, i thought
the green whatnot, though a beautiful color and my size
looked more like a slip or nightgown than i really wanted to rock
i put it back
the orangy shell was coldwater creek
i have a strong bias against coldwater creek
which had made me put it back three times
only to pick it back up because it was beautiful, my size, and exactly what i was looking for
but i was rethinking it again
when i noticed two things successively

1) there was a small stain on the front hem

no no no
i gotta just walk away
too many negatives are stacked against this
i should just leave

2) a small yellow plastic strip--  like the kind to affix tags to clothing

omg this must be what they are talking about with the "tags"
not actual tags, tag gun plastics
so this shirt was now one dollar

ok, well, i'm fucking keeping that
it'll probably washout
it doesn't look like they washed it
looks like gravy
yuck

i wandered to the back of the store
where i found
plus
omg, they have a section of clothes that might fit me
they had a couple of black things i had to slap my hand and say no
and i really dark long-sleeved chocolate leopard shirt
which i told myself firmly i could not buy without trying it on
it didn't look like a style that would flatter
dressing rooms could not be negotiated
locked with no attendant
so, no

and finally there was a red heavy weight long-sleeved shirt
with a beautiful tone on tone pick stitch that looked hand worked
it was a brand i'm not familiar with and technically one size too small
but on the top one size too small often fits
especially for jackets which don't need to button
i tried it on
it felt a little tight in the shoulders
[i have this problem a lot]
but, it didn't seem tighter than taking out the shoulder pads would fix
i couldn't find a mirror, anywhere
i'm pretty good at remembering color
[although you aren't supposed to be able to do that]
and i was pretty sure this red shirt was very very close
but not the same as the palazzo pants
and sometimes very very close is the worst
because it looks like you were trying to match
but failing
same shade, same intensity, slightly different undertone
the pants, neutral red
the shirt just a little bit oranger
but
with the top
maybe a whole tonal explosion of goodness

whatever $6.49 + $1.00 = $7.49
you've been here like two hours
just pay for the experience and leave


so
today i'm washing the shirts
and i don't know how much they may fade
so i'm doing a small load with some underwear and sweat pants and stuff
things that can't ruin the new shirts
but also that the new shirts can't ruin
i've got a phobia about red
when deborah washed some of my white socks in a red load
but not others
and then i had weird unmatched blotchy pink socks
making me look even more white trash than was strictly necessary
it made a lasting impression

so
laundry
finally i had my issues resolved
but, naturally,
before i actually did the wash
i double checked the tags

long-sleeve was was delicate, line dry
ok, no dryer
orangy shell was 100% silk dry clean only

fuck
no wonder i liked it
100% silk knit is like my favorite

you've washed plenty of dry clean only things on delicate
yeah, but not silk
i think i should hand wash it
but i don't have a hand wash basin
what happened to it
i don't know it has been years and years since i've hand washed anything
just use a mixing bowl
yeah, ok, that works


so i did
i washed the silk in a mixing bowl
and
my father teaching me how to hand wash came flooding back
removing different kinds of stains
fresh stains, mind
i've never had any luck with set stains

he was coherent
and informative
and he knew what he was doing
i remember him saying
roll it in a towel
then press the towel hard
you cold maybe even sit on it
to get all the extra water out

where did he learn to hand wash clothes
he hung out with rich kids growing up
maybe he had a few very nice things he had to maintain
he had that whole thinkin he was james dean thing
maybe he was just extra particular about his appearance

i'm curious now

hey, just checkin in

I look crappy, so no pictures
I'm doin one of those promos
but I can't come in earlier than 8
I started my period
so I have break outs on my chin
but I was sick
and
blah blah
don't want to wear makeup
face hurts
rushing around


i love you


just
hiding my face


am curious about
timing or whatever
but
not asking questions


also


what's up, hotness?!