this is just some random stuff

this isn't about dreams
this is just ramble
i think
and
maybe
that isn't too interesting
or maybe it is
i don't know
i guess
i thought it was

you know how
sometimes
when you diet or whatever
you have food cravings
well
mine are totally whack now
because i'm not craving things i used to eat
i am craving things like:

banana with onion

i looked that up
and all i got was pregnancy topics
and
unless we are talking
parthenogenesis
which would be really cool

so what's up with banana and onion

i mean they are both healthy and all but why together

and it sounds kinda revolting
and i didn't have any fresh bananas
but, when i looked, hard, i did have some banana chips
left over from a trail mix i made back in may
so i had a salad
with a whole onion
which is getting kinda common for me
and i had the banana chips for dessert
so not exactly together
but it was the first moment of non-onion-banana-y peace i've had

and, to be honest
it's kinda freaking me out

just now
i was in the laundry room
and i smelled mango
(olfactory hallucination)
and now
i could kill for mango
for my taste mango is a bit sweet
and i rarely eat it
i'm more of a papaya girl
and i have some papaya
and some watermelon
but i don't want those

i had a dandelion green salad
with a warm wild mushroom dressing
just a little while ago
and it was great
totally like i wanted that spinach salad to be years ago
only that warm bacon grease was yucky

i found some squash ravioli
and i haven't had pasta in forever
so i thought
for a treat
you know
cause my goal is to lose 30 pounds this month
and i've already lost 10
so i'm on target
but

it didn't even taste like food

i've crossed some line
and everything has changed