david lynch 

andras

gets ANOTHER 

PUNCH in the FACE 

from me

VIRTUALLY 

I'm still 

feeling kinda bad

I hope you are having a beautiful day 💋

I just got done with therapy 

I'm in the bathroom 

I don't think I made much sense 

last night

I also have

BREAKOUTS 

& the old woman energy 

was in the meeting 

I was NOT 

in a be amongst the humans

kind of mood 

I hung on

BUT 

I wasn't friendly and effervescent 

BUT 

there was a certain amount of 

DEAR GOD 

I'm old too

I mean 

I don't FEEL 

EMOTIONALLY old

OR 

INTERESTS old

SO

I guess 

there was some 

CONSIDERATION of my own

MORTALITY 

BUT 

MOSTLY 

I was just like

F*CK

I don't enjoy old women 

as a group 

any more than I enjoyed young women 

as a group 

the one I used to work for

who I was working to

get her a day off 

MOSTLY 

she's 

in charge of the artists group now

& she's LIKE 

none of the guest list emails have been entered 

Bob sent out emails

BALL DROPPED 

well the thing isn't happening for a couple weeks 

the last three open studios

takes it back to BEFORE PORTLAND 

I'm sure it wouldn't take

MORE than 

an hour or two

to enter ALL of it

JUST DO IT

there's plenty of TIME 

maybe it makes a difference 

MAYBE not

BUT 

why PLAN to FAIL 

I seem not to have drawn any

CHORES

& I thought about

VOLUNTEERing to do it

BUT 

the IDEA of having to 

coordinate

a computer thing 

with her

I don't care enough to deal with THAT 

I really hope

my judging thoughts were

NOT visible 

I get TWO feedbacks typically

I can read everything on your face

I can't read anything on your face

& I'm NOT sure 

if that's 

SITUATIONAL

or WHAT

HORMONES are 

WEIRD 

if they don't resolve

into BLOOD 

WTF is even going on 

I hope you are having a beautiful day sweetheart 🫶 I LOVE you VERY much 🫶

mystery solved 

with the 

GUT

distress 

HORMONES 

old woman energy 

HIT badly

I had lots of processing 

SORRY 

I didn't talk

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH 🫶

👾🫚🍀

this photographs nicer than it will look (probably) the reflection will be less (although there is silver paint)

so far

mom

studio 

artist meeting 

it's COLD

& rainy

🫶

I gotta go to sleep 

I LOVE you VERY very MUCH 

goodnight sweetheart 💋 

🫶🧠☕☁️⚾

👾🫚🍀

I was

GONNA 

WRITE 

something 

BUT 

I have been

MISTing 

my MIND 

OR

should I have gone with 

TENDRILing

I was SEEing it

as KINDA 

a ghostly sort of MIST

that KINDA tendrils 

at the edges

BUT 

it doesn't seem to

YIELD 

it's REALLY GOOD 

for ME though

I FEEL like 

that TIME when I'm THINKING that way

HEELS my BRAIN 

when I'm SAYING SOMETHING 

it CONSTRUCTS

a REALITY 

when I'm doing the WHATSIT

I can sorta

FLOAT

in the place 

where all the perspectives 

INTER-MINGLE

THAT 

MAKES it SOUND 

like a multiple 

thing

BUT 

I don't specifically mean

INTERNAL

it's LIKE 

I don't KNOW what it's like 

I LOVE YOU 

there is NO BRAIN like

🧠🧠🧠

I didn't get enough sleep 

& my guts

FEEL 

like I don't want to leave the house 

SO

I texted my therapist 

& he's like

YEAH 

my new car battery is dead

let's do thursday 

SO

I went back to bed

BUT 

I'm UP

having COFFEE ☕ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ 

NOW 

I LOVE you VERY much sweetheart 🫶 

F*CK

I gotta go to sleep 

I LOVE you 

VERY much 

🫶💋👾🫚⚾

AND

I am 

OK with an *

BUT I think the

HALL of FAME is

WELL 

they are

CONSISTENT 

BUT 

it's KINDA 

sh*tty to say the least

BUT 

I THINK it's 

I MEAN

it's not like

they used AI to 

MAKE it LOOK like they did those things 

the F*CKING DID THEM

WITH the BODIES 

that they

RISKED

to DO

them

it's all like

they're CHEATING 

I MEAN 

MAYBE 

BUT 

MAYBE an * could take care of that

BECAUSE 

is it more

UNFAIR to the other players

than TY COBB's 

CLEATS

SOVIET 

OLYMPIC athletes

in my childhood 

I just don't 

THINK 

THAT'S CONSISTENT 

with a world

where professional athletes

compete in the 

OLYMPICS

THAT 

SEEMS to me

to SAY

WE VALUE 

EXCELLENCE

OVER

LEVEL PLAYING FIELD

SO

THEN

HOW 

are STEROIDS

CHEATING 

HA

AND

the FOULing BACK

I GET

that it is

FIGHTING 

to get a piece of it

BUT 

it's ALSO 

a particular skill

which WEARS out

the pitcher's 

ARM

& does NOT make 

the GAME 

BETTER 

in any

WAY

imo

😁

AND

I don't specifically know 

how

I feel about 

the pitch clock

BUT 

I HATE 

the designated 

HITTER 

& EVERYBODY 

PLAYS

EVERYBODY 

I KINDA 

HATE too

AND

I'll TELL you WHY

I thought you'd 

NEVER ask

FOR ME

the FACT of the

PITCHER at bat is a MUCH 

MORE 

real world

strategic

HUMAN

statistically interesting 

SKILL focused 

GAME

the designated hitter

is like a CHEAT CODE on a computer game

it is more

FUN

if 

you don't 

CARE 

about the

SKILL

I SEE the VALUE of 

EVERYBODY 

PLAYS

EVERYBODY 

I SEE it

BUT 

DEPTH

is BETTER 

RIVALRIES 

are SWEET and 

ya play em more

you KNOW 

THOSE teams TOO 

I GET that there's 

MORE exposure 

BUT 

it's a QUANTITY 

vs. QUALITY 

issue

the PITCH clock 

I cannot HEAR the WORDS

without I see

my past 

FRUSTRATION

with 

american league 

FOULing BACK

&

THAT

ISN'T the PITCH clock

BUT 

MAYBE 

it's NOT THAT different 

SO

I'm NOT SURE 

philosophically

&

I haven't been to a game

to NOTICE if

it FEELS different 

THAT

was FUN 

I am ALSO 

ALWAYS interested 

at the 

QUESTIONS

people ask

BUT 

of course, sometimes 

they know things differently 

THAT 

isn't CLEAR at all

if you heard or saw

OR whatever, ya know 

THE THING 

in the

original CONTEXT 

MAYBE 

it wouldn't occur to you to ask

a particular question 

because 

you think you know, ya know 

& SO when somebody 

ASKS 

sometimes it SEEMS somewhat

OUT of CONTEXT

BUT 

THEN 

somebody asks

from a DIFFERENT CONTEXT 

& THEN

MAYBE it isn't 

MAYBE ya don't know, ya know

BUT 

THEN 

it's NICE when the

ANSWER 

VINDICATES

I'm listening now 

I'm about half way

I ❤️ the 

IDEA

of 

BASEBALL 

& secular 

BASEBALL 

is KINDA

it sounds 

WEIRD 

to say a religion 

or HOLY

BUT 

BASEBALL v. SECULAR 

seems right 

YOU 

SOUND

GREAT 

❤️

when she was telling me 

she needed to go to

URGENT care 

she was like

it REALLY 

HURTS

when we were at the urgent care 

talking to the doctor and nurses

it didn't REALLY hurt

it was

UNCOMFORTABLE 

IRRITATING 

NOW 

I'm not trying to say

we should not have gone

I'm saying 

I NEVER 

KNOW what is TRUE 

with her

she must not want pain killers

because that was

WHY

they were asking 

BUT I have no sense that she understands that 

they took 

BLOOD 

& did a chest x-ray 

because her blood pressure was high

& she was retaining fluids

SO

MAYBE 

she WANTED to go to the hospital 

letting them do all THAT extra

BUT 

she was putting weight on her arm

while they were trying to take her pressure 

I THINK that

messed up the result 

because it was 

NORMAL 

when they took it again at the end

AND

ALL her tests came back

NOT like NORMAL 

BUT 

consistent with her normal results 

this URGENT care 

is the same system as 

her other medical

so they have

her charts

at hand

I have

SOMETHING 

going on 

with

my

GUTS

MIGHT be hormonal 

might just be

I ate cheese

quite a bit

for a few weeks 

&

then STOPPED again

OR

ONE of the DETOX THINGS 

has CHANGED what it's doing 

I was NOT super happy to leave the house

BUT 

I just ate

& it is making 

SCARY noises 

it WAS a SHINGLES outbreak 

I was ASKING 

QUESTIONS

she was supposed to have

an IN PERSON 

training today and her trainer is a registered 

NURSE, as well as being a trainer 

I'm LIKE 

did you HAVE training?

did you show it to her?

BECAUSE 

she was giving me this

gobble-di-goop

which included her morning hygiene 

her sleeping patterns 

&

how I needed to be

IMMEDIATELY 

AVAILABLE 

WHAT apparently happened 

after tooth pulling

when she bothered to run a wash cloth

over her stinky bits

IMMEDIATELY 

BEFORE 

her training 

she went

EWWW

she SHOWED her trainer

WHO SAID 

NO WAY 

you NEED to get THAT 

LOOKED at

have YOUR DAUGHTER 

take you to see a

DOCTOR 

she NOTICED it today 

BUT 

WHO KNOWS 

I have a hard time guessing which is the entrance 

from WEST PARK 

SO

I went down the 

FEEDER

& when we finally SEEMED to be there 

I'm LIKE 

which street is this

CROSSING

EDLOE

she says with all the conviction of

someone who ACTUALLY 

READ the sign

BUT 

as I drove under the lights 

I LOOKED 

BUFFALO SPEEDWAY

you didn't LOOK 

you just KINDA THOUGHT it was 

EDLOE 

& you knew I was trying to 

KNOW exactly 

BUT 

you said it like you were sure

YES

BUT 

when there were

QUESTIONS

about whether she had gone to get the

VACCINE 

which I am

SURE 

she DIDN'T 

because I didn't drive her

& MORE importantly 

I didn't hear

ANY

B*TCHing about 

POOR SERVICE 

or incompetence 

OR

a NEED

to be PRAISED for having done it at all

she told the doctor 

she was PRETTY SURE she had 

gotten the FIRST one 

BUT 

I'm PRETTY SURE 

when she says 

PRETTY SURE 

it's LIKE 

SIR