goodnight sweetheart
I love you very much
Friday, August 30, 2019
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Monday, August 26, 2019
Sunday, August 25, 2019
Saturday, August 24, 2019
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
i'm gonna go to be before i fall asleep in the chair
i think my body wants soy
i had that mac + cheese
for dinner and lunch
multiple days
and
i want more more more
i made oatmeal with soy
i flavored it with cinnamon + cardamon + maple syrup
with some coconut oil and these giant raisins i got from the imperfect produce
and i'm trying to start noticing
how much of things i put in recipes
i didn't measure the cinnamon or the cardamon
because i know i use like four times as much as a normal person
i just used a couple Tbsp of maple syrup
in the whole pot
and i only ate half of it
i'm gonna try to eat breakfast
but
i used the whole 2 cup bag of raisins
and it was the right amount for me
i was experimenting with different oatmeal
i usually get steel cut
but that has to cook for a while
and i (maybe) like oat bran better
but i don't usually cook that by itself
but it takes less time
so
i then also found a three minute oats with oat bran
and the three minute oats is somehow pre-cooked
so i don't usually get that
but it cooks so much faster
anyway
what i did
was use 1 cup of the three minute oats
and a 1/2 cup of the oat bran
in 4 cups of soy milk
it cooked so so fast
very convenient
and my body loved the soy
i was afraid that i was going to be wasting it
like because i don't believe that three minute oats is food even
but it seemed ok
and the oat bran is real regardless
and even though it didn't cook for a long time
it was good anyway
and i loved it
and my body is screaming for more soy
probably wants to make estrogen
i'm getting artichokes in my imperfect produce tomorrow
so
i'll have my first ever experience trying to cook those
and
i will make a baked ziti version of my mac + cheese soon
maybe not this sunday
because i still have a butternut squash
but that's not going anywhere
so
i may do it this sunday
i love baked ziti
and i think if i use a little less nutritional yeast
and reconfigure the seasonings
and then throw some roasted tomato over the top
i think it's gonna be excellent
i was eating the mac + cheese
and thought
the texture of this is really more like baked ziti
such total yum
i've also learned
if you are hungry
even really hungry
and you eat six dates
you are good to go for hours
they are packed with energy
and i know they aren't low calorie
but they aren't that bad
except sugars they are high on the sugars as far as macros
also
if you let a cantaloupe get so ripe that you can cut it with a plastic knife
it is fucking a-maze-ing
and with avocado
is a very satisfying lunch
like
it makes you feel better
those little grape tomatoes
are like the best snack food ever
but they're good for lunch too with something else
and, sadly, quest has changed the recipe on my bars
they ruined it for me
after i finish the box i'm on
i'm not buying them anymore
i'm going to be trying some other bars
but
think! bars in peanut butter are really good
especially for breakfast
i've eaten them driving to work several times
and they are good with pu erh tea
so are dates
but
possibly i could make bars
i just have found that i feel better if i get protein
and the bars are 20g of protein
and i could do shakes
but for various reasons
that has been unsuccessful in the past
bars just work better
but
we'll see
i'm not sure how much protein is in a tofu scramble samdwich
but
more calories for sure
i really hope i have good dreams tonight
i've had bad dreams for the last few nights
and leg cramps i have to get up and walk off
and i've been generally kinda in a funk
i'm in a pretty good mood now
so i really hope
good dreams
and a better mood tomorrow
goodnight sweetheart
i love you very much
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
I just had a nightmare
It was this glass building that was the sanctuary of a church
and the priest/minister/ whatever was starting the high holiday sermon
the people are outside
settled amongst the rocks
It somehow a nature based religion
and
some woman
breaks through the glass
And as he screams RUN at his congregation she shoots him down in cold blood
and there is some indication
the congregation
is being hunted down
horrible
Friday, August 16, 2019
Thursday, August 15, 2019
ok, I'mma vent a little
my manager called me
almost an hour ago
I'm not due in til 10
so I could have been asleep
or in the shower
mexcor is trying to deliver a huge wine order
there is no PO# on the clipboard
I don't know anything about a mexcor order
I didn't order anything and there was no auto ship order as of my leaving Tuesday
what are the wines
he names off 4 wines I've never heard of
we don't carry those wines
it's a mis ship of some kind
it has our name and address on it
well you can look in the computer
(which I've shown him how to do
multiple times
and is what he should have done
instead of calling me
if I wanted to be on call
I could still be making over $40,000/year)
so he goes to the back
I walk him through how to check
there's no order there
send it back, I say
actually, I remember to myself
if he had tried to receive it on the phone
as is proceedure
it would not have let him
and there would have been no need
to call me at all
but he won't let me reach him that
because he can't be bothered
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
I've been feeling bad
because of the heat, maybe
so I decided to sleep in
when I woke up the first time
I'd been going into these rooms
filled with flowers
all one color
lots of rooms
lots of colors
lots of flowers
and
my mood was very good
I went back to sleep to try to get back into it
then the second time
it was you
and social media/the internet
(read the "/" as stroke instead of slash
cause I'm all anglofied
I ran across some Lovejoy episodes
and
now I'm watching this horrible show
dreadful trash but I can't look away
Love Island the UK version
everyone is very "fit"
while their getting "mugged off"
anyway, I digress
it was all about you
your words on the screen
radio stations and podcasts
and
as I say, social media
but then I hear what I think is your voice
coming from a nearby tablet
and I turn all of my attention
and a gen zed boy looks at me like I've violated him with my gaze
and then
I'm in a car
doing something
not driving
idk what, but then I go to get out
walk across the street
and I'm wearing a slightly long shirt
and boy shorts panties
no pants
it's night
oh well, I say
I guess they'll pass as shorts
for that little distance
nobody really pays attention
either I'm fine
or I'll be raped and killed
ready?
couldn't you have stopped before that last
no, apparently not
ok go, but walk fast