super tired

took a half a melatonin
goin to sleep
love you
have a good night sweetheart

i love you once, i love you twice, i love you more than beans and rice

my phone says
day after thanksgiving
all day
for some reason
I think this is very funny
but
it's probably not really
all that funny
but
I'm taking my laughs where I can get em
today, at least

Gratefullness

i didn't grow up with a tradition of gratefullness

by which i mean

we didn't sit around the table on Thanksgiving

each declaring to the other

for X i am grateful

for Y i am grateful

it was food

and football

and family fighting, generally

sometimes followed

by poker

[five card draw, mostly, sometimes blackjack]

or monopoly

[i like to be the thimble]

[my father always cheated]

and

maybe it's too late to start with the gratefullness

i don't know

maybe start small

today

today i like coffee
and eye balm
and mood altering lipgloss
and supplements that keep me functioning

[reasonably pain free]

hot dang o.g. veggie burgers

[which i'm having for thanksgiving dinner]

smoked cheese

[ditto]

technology

and

you

fell asleep on the sofa

gonna go ahead and get up fairly early
because I have to got to work at 5am on Friday
(but then I get off at 2 or 3, hopefully)
I meant to write you something
I love you
so much
sleep tight baby

omg omg omg

Damien is gonna make me a wig
I have been wanting
don't laugh
pink dredlocks
for, like, years
but
I'm not even gonna try to do that to my hair
but
he knows how to make wigs
I'm very very excited
I'm not sure how fast all this I gonna happen
but
I think YouTube girl
is gonna have a persona
I don't feel represented, somehow
don't freak out

i'm likely to have a very stressful day today, but

I'm thinking of you
and
I wish you a beautiful day
I'll try to do something for you
tonight
but
I'm not sure what I'm gonna have left
so
no promises
but
virtual warm snuggles
and big mugs of coffee

i had crazy dreams last night

I wanted to tell you about them
but
I can't really remember
it's been rough at work
I worked 7am to 8pm
came home, ate, fell asleep on the sofa
I know the dream had Beaujolais Nouveau
that's work related
and some girl I was making friends with
every time we found out something about each other, it was the same
but
there was a bunch more stuff
I think, physically
I'm holding up pretty good
I have been reducing supplements
and now I hardly take any (comparatively)
biotin, vitamin e
boswellia, horse chestnut, msm
cordyceps, sometimes cayenne
nattokinase
but smaller quantities
or less frequently
except the nattokinase
that's two every night
because it seems to work better at that dose
to keep the tight ouchies outta my veins


please be careful
I love you

i need something

it might be a drink, nah
it might be drugs, nah
it might be homicide, hmmmmm
but I don't want to go to prison
I am having a super
extinction event
day
already
and I'm supposed to go to dinner
with my mom
right after work
aaaaakkkkk

i've been thinkin about you baby

makin love
in some kinda tempest
everything whippin all around us
or
inside a giant clam
at the bottom of the ocean
except
the texture of the clam
it's not all cold and slimy
it feels like a tongue


I got
all kinds of crazy thoughts
and
all kinds of want you badness

i love you. happy day to you

today has been seriously whack!

i'm doing a promo reset this week

so
it's gonna be all jacked up hours
and then
maybe some next week too
because god knows when the new fixturing
will get here
and
mandatory meeting
crack of dawn Sunday
and blah blah
happy holidaze


I love you baby

i dreamed i was back in colledge

I had missed the beginning of the semester
due to health issues, I think
so I was going to classes
to see if I was still enrolled
and whatnot
I went to this one class
and I guy I used to work with
who is not someone I'd want to be in a class with was there
the professor asked if I had any questions
and this guy says:
tell her about connectivity
so
he starts talking
and drawing on the board frenetically
about the energetic connections
between seemingly unrelated things
but after he spend the whole class on that
he says that the class isn't about that
so I still don't know whether to drop the class or not