i want to say a bunch of stuff

really
i want to write a story
but
i can't right now
so
i'm just gonna ramble


i want to tell you, puppyfish
tell you if it's a boy or a girl
but
i'm not sure
i have feelings about it
and that's interfering

i can talk to you about pancakes

--  i have been on a quest for fluffy
the protein shakes kinda backfired--

i thought that since i had been having cravings
intense cravings
to buy rotisserie chicken
and eat the entire chicken
peeling the flesh off the bones
in an obscenely carnivorous fashion
that maybe
just maybe my body wanted protein

and
it did actually seem happy to get the protein
my aches and pains got better
so i assume protein enhanced tissue repair
but
my body also said:

you expect me to schlep, on, excuse me, no carbs


and
pancakes
are, i guess, a comfort food for me
i never buy them when i go out for breakfast
not even at ihop really
because i don't really like the ones you get out

the batch i made this morning was big enough
i am just now thinking about eating again
and that was like 10 hours ago


these are the most little-popping-air-bubble pancakes
i've ever made
so i thought
i'm almost at the recipe
i'll show the puppyfish

there are several tricks
i used more baking soda
i also use baking powder
i use milk
but i add vinegar to make it "buttermilk"
except that it doesn't actually make it buttermilk
because i use umeboshi vinegar
[don't freak out
and i use a pretty fair amount]
the idea is
it reacts with the baking soda
but the umeboshi makes it a little salty and a little sweet
[because i don't use sugar]

now
when my gran gran made pancakes
she had a couple paper towels soaked in
mazola or something
and she'd wipe the pan with it between every pancake
and
i have always done some sort of modified version of that
until this week


this week i said:
it's a frikkin non-stick pan
you do not need oil
and
they are so much better

but back to the recipe
i also have a tendency to make the batter too thick
because i have historically liked them dense
but now i want them fluffy

the other trick
is beer
the carbonation is probably the thing
that actually does the trick
but
the beer gives it flavor
this time what i had was milk stout
and i am a fan
especially since i used 1/2 whole wheat flour
it is eventually my plan to blend in some mesquite flour, too
but
i haven't gotten that yet

i've been using avocado oil
because that's more buttery
[to blend into the mix, i mean]
and ginger
fresh might be better
but i have a bottle of ginger people ginger, so

the other other trick is eggs
use more
however, i am amending that, from today
more egg whites
because the egg yolks affect the flavor
as mentioned before with my sad chia cakes
but
as it turns out
you can reach critical mass on the egginess

last time i used 3 eggs with 1 cup of flour, fine
today 5 eggs with 2 cups of flour
too eggy
and maybe all egg whites would work
but
i'm thinkin
for 2 cups of flour
probably 2 yolked eggs and 4 egg whites
unless you're using all white flour
[like i did last time]
and going for a challah-esque flavor

-- oh, and i made a topping last time too
because i didn't want thick gooey syrup
[which i don't actually have anyway]
or honey
so i heated light margarine in a pan with some porter
[the beer i used last time]
and some lingonberry jam
which gave the whole thing
a kind of deliciously scandinavian flavor

also
i have an electric stove
which i hate 
i learned on an electric stove
but
once you experience gas
well, then you're cookin with gas
electric oven
different story: better
so now i finally understand
the whole separate cooktop thing
anyway

i have traditionally had issues
the pan is too hot
the pan is not hot enough
the other other other trick
[besides the non-stick pan]
pre-heat the pan properly


just start before you finish mixing
and then
after you finish mixing
walk away for a few minutes
so the batter can do a little volcano science experiment of fluffiness
and voila

as soon as you pour the batter in the pan
it starts sending up air
which is how you know it's time to turn
when it's all covered with holes
so
you have to watch the edges, a little

i may have weird taste
because i like buckwheat pancakes
but these are not like that
they're just closer to that than say a bisquick pancake
what with the whole wheat and the milk stout

i liked em
and
puppyfish
today
i kinda made em for you