roof, windows, lampshade and apples the size of a bowling ball, well almost

i dreamed
about a house
my mother bought
when she was trying to get custody
or
more accurately, perhaps
i dreamed of my cousin
she was a child again, i was
not
i was visiting her in her room
which, in the dream, was different
was a room that didn't really exist
but, in the dream, we both knew
it had been my room

and she said:
what i love most
about this room
is that it smells of
you
this touched me

there were smallish windows wrapping
around the walls, set high
above the line of sight
and the room used
to be a bathroom
her friends
pouring in the windows
startled
i looked up
ceiling gone
like i always thought
it should be
the roof
seemed
to breathe
aspirating against the stars

i escaped to the living room
a lamp with a bright yellow shade
my gaze couldn't evade
thought i tried
and on the shelves
in front of books
in front of stuff
in front of ..................... whatever
apples
in rows
neatly
some the size of a large fiji
some approaching ................. surreal
some approaching .........................
........................... mythic .......
..........................................

and my aunt
who didn't look
like my aunt
any of them
thin
haggard
harpy
hating

to her i said:
you know
my mother put a forty year roof
not that long ago
not realizing that
in this case
not that long ago
would mean
the time it takes
from birth til high school graduation
but still
it should be under warranty

she answered me:
get the hell out of here