i don't know what to think of me

maybe
maybe i'm premenstrual
seems maybe a couple days early
but it might explain the reason for the rollercoaster
somebody said a four letter word
and
i imploded

but
i've got other stressors

i wanted to hold on to you
i wanted to talk to you
i kind of almost wanted to argue with you
[i don't enjoy that
and it would likely not have come to that
but i felt this tension that must usually work itself out that way]
i decided that rather than argue
i'd rather have slightly aggressive sex with you

after i thought that, i felt better

you know
i'm actually more confused than ever