what are you doing to me

i love you sweetheart

have a beautiful day

i'm doing inventory tomorrow

so
i'm going in at 3:30a
i did the pre-work already
[hopefully well]
so
tonight's an early night
and tomorrow is all whack

hopefully it will go even smoother than last year

luck to me

also
i'm driving my mom to that workshop in eagle pass
they re-booked her
which is awesome
except for when it is
and
that she doesn't want to go to marfa again
which was the whole reason i wanted to drive her to begin with

so
i'm looking for a spa
i'm thinking massage and facials and mud baths
unless i can come up with something
better

i love you pumpkin

dreams

the last few nights
i haven't retained my dreams past waking
something
about a grocery store
something

but
last night

i was my sister
and you were your brother
and we were in a room
but we weren't alone

and you're all like:
hey, what's wrong with you

and i'm all like:
see that guy over there, he's my gynocologist
and it's making me uncomfortable to see him here

there was weed smoking going on in the room
[for the record, i would never have a male gyno-- eeeww]
this guy seemed like a used car salesman
and there was some reason
i'd had to find one quick
and he'd been it
but i wasn't comfortable with him
especially not socially

so
i looked at you
and you were different
than you look
you, or your brother, rather
looked like this guy
and when i went looking for pictures
this was the first one i found
which is some bizarre synchronicity
so i include it here

anyway
maybe we were smoking weed
or maybe not
but we did this thing
where we breathed into each other
and

it tasted
like
butter

does that seem right

ok. i got the tower 3 times this morning. what gives.

are you sick?
injured?
is something awful about to happen?

i'm so not ok with the tower.

last night i dreamed i was

justin bieber

well
not exactly
i dreamed that i was all done up like jb
i lived in a house with a buch of really cool women
and for some reason
i had bought the one couple and their kid an apartment
and now i was living with a really bossy woman
and she had me lookin like justin bieber

now
i gotta admit
i had to look up justin bieber
because
i really have no idea about him
he looks like he's 12
and kinda pretty for a guy
but
songs are ok for pop

i found it disconcerting

i dreamed i was travelling by train

maybe that was something you sent to me
i don't know
i have been having, lately
very stressful dreams
things that make me wake up tired
and today
i just wanted to stay in bed, dreaming

i didn't feel
as stiff and sore, waking up, as i have done
and there was some optimism

that may be
premature
because i still have
uncertainties about important things

but
if you're gonna send me stuff
pain reduction
optimism
and
a feeling of comfort
are good

really really good

would it freak you out

i'm thinking about
taking a voice class
it's free
but
it's at the Unitarian universalist church
which is marginally christian

whirlwind
X