so, i wonder

what you think
I don't know
when I change
from waiting for you mode
to full tilt mode
because
if
you
think there won't be any change
I think
you're wrong

real quick

I said I don't give a shit about this job anymore
and that's true
but
I don't want to go into the whole devolution
the big thing
they clamped down
so
I was priding myself on having the best beer selection in town
well, not any more
I can only order approved products
I've got like
less than half
and blah blah whatever
but
see
I don't really care about what I make
money wise
I have to be the best
and
they won't let me


but
the weird thing is
the whole store is down 7%
because driving sales is not the focus
following the rules is the focus


and this new manager
he wanted to promote me
but I don't want to be promoted there
supervisor is a shitty job
the only reason to be supervisor
is to try to be manager
and I have over 10 years of management experience
if I want to be manager
I'd get there faster by applying somewhere else for a manager position


this is not my first rodeo


he also wanted me to be supervisor
so he could make me keep doing my current job, plus that job, for, if I'm lucky, a couple more dollars an hour


this is not my first rodeo


when I had my review
he went on and on about how great I was
when I asked about my developmental areas
he gave me a flippant answer about
hairstyle or something
clearly not taking me serious
like
seriously, you have no developmental areas
then
I get a meets expectations
and I'm like
I'm sorry NO
because I have always gotten exceeds
and he just told me I can't improve, right


and he says
well, that still represents a pay increase


seriously
he thinks I'm gonna just be happy to get
like the lowest pay increase possible
I'm like no
that rating is not consistent with the review I just received
do you seriously think that's what I deserve?


so he goes back and adjusts it
we only get raises once a year
and my big increase is now .40


whatever
anyway, I'm getting out of order
i just recently discovered the store was down 7%, because i don't care about the store
i only care about my dept
and i really don't care about that
but my not caring
is still more
ya know
and
i was sure I'd be losing sales
hand over fist
and i was budgeted to be down 3%
but
now I'm up almost 5%
and this was the hard part of the year


I'm ranking 30 out of like 240 in the company
which is roughly the same as last year
i lead our district
though our district manager still can't remember my name
and he was throwing it up to me
when new guy took over
that the south Dakota stir was doing almost as much as me
with less inventory
and I'm like yeah, but do they have 15 competitors within a stones throw of them
I'm trying to lure people in with having better selection
you have too much beer
he says
so
still
with nothing
I'm 30 and they're 38
they are $8,000 behind me
same as last year
but the store's down 7%
and I'm not really trying
and it hit me
something i already knew


i really pour myself into whatever i do
and i can't really not be successful at it


and it's just a shame
that I'm wasting myself
on these ungrateful bastards


and i started praying really hard
to know what to do next
I'm willing to make money, i said
I'm open to it
i want to profit from hard work
because
clearly I'm incapable of not
i tried
and i just worked smarter
got better
made them more money


anyway
so
real estate
I'm reading books
it looks like you can do the classes on line
it's 180 hours
but I'm unclear if that's like
it will take 180 hour
or if it's credit hours
but
it needs to be
the shortest amount of time possible
I'm not doing this bullshit any more
dragonfly said 2years and it's been
almost 2 years
and life starts now
whatever
no more fucking around

i think i know what i'm supposed to do next, but i don't know exactly what that means

but
what I'm getting
is
real estate